By 99Problemsandfml - 08/11/2012 19:03 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 508
You deserved it 2 505

Same thing different taste

Top comments

If it's a girl puppy, then you do have 99 problems of which a bitch is one.

madskittlesftw 5


madskittlesftw 5
winnerme123 8

Because it is smart... Until the vacuum breaks.

madskittlesftw 5

You'd think it'd start to smell though..

Becuase he's smart, im just jealous i didn't think of it first.

If it's a girl puppy, then you do have 99 problems of which a bitch is one.

That is actually a brilliant idea. Invent a better one that doesn't break.

Thank you OP, you just gave me a great laugh.

What a (you can guess what word goes here ;) situation! Haha but really he sounds like a keeper that's hilarious even if he didn't do it to be funny.

When you said "He's a keeper" it kindve made me think of what you call a relationship. You don't break up with people because of a small thing like that. Now that's idiotic.

Did you seriously just use two overused catchphrases (shitty situation & he's a keeper) in a single comment?! Man, what a clusterfuck!

soullessgingers 0

Seems like a smart one. Tell him to grow a pear and pick it up with a bag.

LiterOfCola 16

Why would he have to pick up his pear with a bag?

soullessgingers 0

You don't understand why people are picking on you, do you?

naughtylez82 4

Ummm pair. There you go and no need to thank me

In the event of a soulless ginger: remain calm, remain quiet, and pray that mighty penguin will come to save the day with ever so defending quietness!

52- Congratz! you win the idiot Grammar Nazi award! Pair generally means two items or objects that are together! And a pear is a type of fruit! No need to thank ME!

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

#27 to him, he thinks they're picking on him for no a-pear-ant reason.

57- Your display picture shows up on google if you type in "emo hair". Try it. Nice fake picture!

xXxIracebethxXx 14

57 - I laughed so hard from how badly you failed, I literally fell off my bed and got the wind knocked out of me. What an experience, haha!

CharresBarkrey 15

78 - They also say in their info that they're 17, yet their birthday is in 1998. Herp derp. Just give up, 57.

That is strangely smart but gross at the same time! I'll definitely take this idea into consideration. At my own risk that is.

Marrach 7

Oh, yes! Clogging up a vaccuum with the smell of shit everytime you use it! I would've never thought of anything this promising.. -.-

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

I picked up dung with a vacuum. Why worry about engine sludge? *engine sludge and shit pours down on me* It was a Castrol GTX commercial reference. Wasn't funny? Ok. I'll leave

Did you not just read what the end result was?

Or it could be him using the elephant trunk like attachment for a little r and r. The puppy is just a cover story.

Does it? I mean to people who are in pain fantasies it could be paradise.

Your picture is a car. Are you a transformer?

Your picture is a tiny man with abnormal hands, are you an ogre?

Maybe that vacuum was just a piece of shit!

That's dumb at it's finest level ^.^

kittytub 12

well... if we were to get technical, it would be dumbness. and "its", not it's, since dumb is possessing "finest level."

gmc_blossom 21

13- You just got told by a cat.