By 99Problemsandfml - 08/11/2012 19:03 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 462
You deserved it 2 494

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If it's a girl puppy, then you do have 99 problems of which a bitch is one.

Why would he do that..?

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Why would he do that..?

Because it is smart... Until the vacuum breaks.

You'd think it'd start to smell though..

Because the dog shit on the floor

Becuase he's smart, im just jealous i didn't think of it first.

If it's a girl puppy, then you do have 99 problems of which a bitch is one.

That is actually a brilliant idea. Invent a better one that doesn't break.

Thank you OP, you just gave me a great laugh.

99 problems but a shit is one

What a (you can guess what word goes here ;) situation! Haha but really he sounds like a keeper that's hilarious even if he didn't do it to be funny.

Hilarious in an idiotic way?

When you said "He's a keeper" it kindve made me think of what you call a relationship. You don't break up with people because of a small thing like that. Now that's idiotic.

Did you seriously just use two overused catchphrases (shitty situation & he's a keeper) in a single comment?! Man, what a clusterfuck!

Third!! Guess someones full of shit

Seems like a smart one. Tell him to grow a pear and pick it up with a bag.

Why would he have to pick up his pear with a bag?

Pick the shit up with a bag.

You don't understand why people are picking on you, do you?

Ummm pair. There you go and no need to thank me

In the event of a soulless ginger: remain calm, remain quiet, and pray that mighty penguin will come to save the day with ever so defending quietness!

52- Congratz! you win the idiot Grammar Nazi award! Pair generally means two items or objects that are together! And a pear is a type of fruit! No need to thank ME!

#27 to him, he thinks they're picking on him for no a-pear-ant reason.

57- Your display picture shows up on google if you type in "emo hair". Try it. Nice fake picture!

57 - I laughed so hard from how badly you failed, I literally fell off my bed and got the wind knocked out of me. What an experience, haha!

78 - They also say in their info that they're 17, yet their birthday is in 1998. Herp derp. Just give up, 57.

That is strangely smart but gross at the same time! I'll definitely take this idea into consideration. At my own risk that is.

Nothing smart about it!

Oh, yes! Clogging up a vaccuum with the smell of shit everytime you use it! I would've never thought of anything this promising.. -.-

I picked up dung with a vacuum. Why worry about engine sludge? *engine sludge and shit pours down on me* It was a Castrol GTX commercial reference. Wasn't funny? Ok. I'll leave

Did you not just read what the end result was?

Or it could be him using the elephant trunk like attachment for a little r and r. The puppy is just a cover story.

That sounds unbelievably painful.

Does it? I mean to people who are in pain fantasies it could be paradise.

Your picture is a car. Are you a transformer?

Your picture is a tiny man with abnormal hands, are you an ogre?

That's an expensive pooper scooper

Maybe that vacuum was just a piece of shit!

That's dumb at it's finest level ^.^

well... if we were to get technical, it would be dumbness. and "its", not it's, since dumb is possessing "finest level."

13- You just got told by a cat.