Love: Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 64 329

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Same thing different taste

By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 21 719

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 3 928

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 417

You deserved it 6 287

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 29 349

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 284

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 434

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 442

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 8 408

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 5 775

Next

Top comments

pianoman05st 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges

menother 2

Wednesday 9 June 2010 11:58

This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?

Comments

_Hello_Zombie_ 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 22:19

looks like that relationship is over haha.

amayaa_fml 7

Tuesday 17 August 2010 2:52

poor girl

so98029 2

Monday 27 December 2010 6:32

idiot.

MrBobby_fml 7

Tuesday 15 March 2011 2:15

twat!

twinkietarget 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:51

You're an idiot.

beckham_732 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:41

what a dumb ass. trust me, she was still impressed. don't worry.

ThisRandomChild 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 9:57

DUMBASS, Thats why you do that shit OUTSIDE!

bigassfish97 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:45

Practice..

Linaelle 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:20

Would it have been less impressive outside ? That's almost worth a Darwin Award ;-)

MusicallyGifted 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:17

No offense, but DUMB ASS

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The Top

Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 2 717

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The Top

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You deserved it 206

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I agree, your life sucks 36 692

You deserved it 2 770

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I agree, your life sucks 34 111

You deserved it 3 328

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I agree, your life sucks 9 773

You deserved it 748

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I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 12 243

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I agree, your life sucks 30 759

You deserved it 4 709