By anon - 5/6/2021 02:01

Not a great start

  Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
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By  Bogrbon  |  23

Maybe things will get better when he gets to really enjoy it more. The first time can be underwhelming. But let’s be honest, sex is kind of a disgusting thing when you get right down to its fundamentals and away from the personal experience of having it. Lots of viscous fluids, weird smells and oddly shaped body parts. Your mind actually turns off some of your disgust reflex when you’re aroused so you’ll be interested in sex. And it’s not unreasonable to want to get cleaned up afterwards when your mind kicks back in to normal.

By  BilllliB  |  2

First times are always awkward, at least you got to share the awkwardness together lol that’s the way I see it, I was horrible my first time but practice makes perfect 😉

COMMENTS
By  Bogrbon  |  23

Maybe things will get better when he gets to really enjoy it more. The first time can be underwhelming. But let’s be honest, sex is kind of a disgusting thing when you get right down to its fundamentals and away from the personal experience of having it. Lots of viscous fluids, weird smells and oddly shaped body parts. Your mind actually turns off some of your disgust reflex when you’re aroused so you’ll be interested in sex. And it’s not unreasonable to want to get cleaned up afterwards when your mind kicks back in to normal.

By  BilllliB  |  2

First times are always awkward, at least you got to share the awkwardness together lol that’s the way I see it, I was horrible my first time but practice makes perfect 😉

By  Chazzster  |  21

It gets better with practice and time.

While porn can be enjoyable, it’s not realistic. Real women usually take longer to warm up and require more stimulation to orgasm than the typical male. But a young male will usually recover and be ready for more sex in a little while.

It matters what birth control method you use. The withdrawal method is the very worst. It’s least reliable and most likely to interfere with sexual pleasure and it’s messy. Prophylactics are effective for birth control and prevention of disease, but they are not entirely without drawbacks when it comes to sexual pleasure - “I prefer to feel the leather when I ride”.

Birth control pills and IUD’s are effective for birth control but do not prevent sharing a communicable disease. They are the best choice for very long term relationships provided both partners are entirely infection free. Married couples usually go this route.

It’s important that the two of you communicate - What you like, what works for each other, what you don’t like. Experimentation can be rewarding as long as you take it carefully.

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  1known  |  29

It is worth mentioning that control pills can highly affect a woman: effects on her body, on her desire being the most common ones.

So pick the right method for you. And your boyfriend should be part of it. He shouldn’t decide which one you use, but should understand that birth control is not a woman only business. He must be pro active about it. For examples, if you decide to use condoms, he should be in charge of buying them and remember to use them; or if you use the pill he should know how it changes your life, not look away when you’re taking it.

Anyhow... have a great journey discovering the joys of sex.

By  bleachedraven  |  14

Focus

By  Lora Wood  |  10

This time next year you will have a new boyfriend, and so will he.

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  Chazzster  |  21

I liked the subtle way you put it…

Frankly I also considered that as one possible explanation. But this couple have enough problems right now, that I didn’t want to jump to that conclusion. It will be clear soon enough if boyfriend is gay or asexual (either could be the case).

It’s also possible that they are very young or very naive and that things will get better. I hope for sure that OP is using some form of birth control!

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  Chazzster  |  21

I agree completely that we should not shame people for their sexual preferences (as long as it’s between consenting adults).

On the other hand some combinations just will not work as the basis of a romantic couple unless both are content with no possibility of sex between them. Friends is one thing, a romantic couple is another thing. When that’s what you are looking for you have to find someone who feels about you like you feel about them.