Miscellaneous: Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my... - FML

By Michigan - 05/02/2009 01:18 - United States

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 4 874

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Same thing different taste

By california - 14/03/2009 20:55 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 456

You deserved it 17 795

By what people do for money - 18/07/2014 16:45 - United States - Houston

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 812

You deserved it 4 442

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 12:24 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 132

You deserved it 35 294

Nice girl

By Lithiac - 04/02/2014 06:16 - United States - Ocala

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 583

You deserved it 4 828

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 75 205

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 28 475

By thoughthewasjoking - 15/08/2014 21:10 - United States - Bessemer

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 172

You deserved it 40 149

By wallet? GONE - 21/04/2013 22:27 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 696

You deserved it 3 822

Broke

By Anon - 22/03/2012 23:32 - United States - Stony Point

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 047

You deserved it 4 843

Next

Top comments

IhateNY 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:06

Maybe he KNEW you had a wobbly table leg and it was the perfect size.

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:57

Stop being so insecure.

Comments

TC_fml 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 17:44

Agree with #1, he's proselytizing for his cult. I suppose he needs to meet his recruitment quota? As a practicing atheist (-: I usually have snarkier replies...

truelyawesome 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 19:58

**** you, Christianity isn't a cult. don't be an athirst ass

kjb64 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 13:13

at least we have something to believe in

kiltsaresexy 4

Monday 26 April 2010 22:52

How can one be a practicing Atheist? An Athiest believes in no god or any kind of religion. Saying you're a "practicing Athiest" suggests some kind of routine or ritual. Next time just call yourself an Athiest.

ninjaruler 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 3:38

umm Christianity is not a cult... it is one of the worlds leading religions

Krennicus 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 22:39

Atheist believe in Life, Love, and truth. We don't believe in eternal torture, magic, or the supernatural.

MollyXD124 7

Monday 15 August 2011 6:15

Practicing Atheist? Ok, nonetheless, I totally agree with you.

poopdollar123 4

Thursday 24 November 2011 3:11

have fun in hell!

friedpwnadge 25

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:14

More like as a practicing asshole. You can have different views without being a douche.

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:57

Stop being so insecure.

greenman_fml 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 20:04

You must be a common prostitute, smeared with the paint of seduction, flaunting your wiles for Satan!

HatchetMan 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 18:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

truelyawesome 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:00

y are u an ass? you're going to he'll someday, and the more you piss on us, the sooner it will be...

MeesterMatt 3

Wednesday 16 May 2012 6:05

Omg no way ur so cool saying that everyone loves ignorant assholes

IhateNY 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:06

Maybe he KNEW you had a wobbly table leg and it was the perfect size.

wicked_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 7:50

Maybe you need a shirt like mine that says "Sin like you mean it." *g*

can_sympathize56 0

Monday 9 March 2009 5:12

Don't worry, trying to guilt people is how they operate. You're not a bad person, they're just slimy. (Also, I'd have to agree with #6... what do you mean, #2?)

leadninja 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 5:41

WAIT. How did he hand you a book after you walked past him!?

hattar 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 7:41

lol, what an asshole! ******* religious people

nafiul93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:17

what a dick

truelyawesome 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:04

you are what you eat

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The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 431

The Top

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 716

You deserved it 9 932

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 986

You deserved it 21 754

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 826

You deserved it 10 492

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number, I wanted to mess with my girlfriend a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 33 986

Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 834

You deserved it 825

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 089

You deserved it 39 644