Kids: Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger...

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 015

You deserved it 2 304

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Same thing different taste

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 793

You deserved it 5 265

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 560

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 1 897

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 113

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 8 324

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 8 455

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 122

You deserved it 4 886

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 633

You deserved it 7 509

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

By Anonymous - 26/05/2012 00:15 - United States

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 2 724

A07 48

Monday 1 February 2016 19:42

A good way to discourage him would be to spray chilli sauce on his hand when he's not looking, then sit back and enjoy the ensuring shitstorm.

A07 48

Monday 1 February 2016 19:41

How old is your son exactly?

Comments

igotds 16

Monday 1 February 2016 22:06

I guess he broke up with Amber Rose #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch

delfino1604 24

Monday 1 February 2016 22:29

hmm interesting.

TheKishwan 16

Monday 1 February 2016 22:52

Didn't know donkey farts could be pure

Doctorbones 3

Monday 1 February 2016 22:52

Hey, everyone needs a hobby...

CliffyB03 28

Monday 1 February 2016 23:14

I read this to my roommate, and I'm sure you all could imagine the look of disgust

edmunson 22

Monday 1 February 2016 23:27

I stopped at "sticking his finger up his own ass" and threw up in my mouth a little.

ViviMage 38

Monday 1 February 2016 23:40

Ya might want to stop that habit before he tears his own lining, which is friable/easily torn in the anus, and/or loses spinchter control by forcing his finger in too often.

LyricaSilvan 29

Tuesday 2 February 2016 0:22

I...honestly have no idea how to react to this. I imagine you didn't, either, at the time. Sorry to hear that your son has some...awkward habits.

RabbitOfAurora 28

Tuesday 2 February 2016 1:18

Is there any chance he was lying to you and was actually just enjoying a little anal fingering? Obviously this is age dependant; but you might want to have a talk to him about sexuality and kinks.