Miscellaneous: Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She... - FML

By shorty - 13/02/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 6 969

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Same thing different taste

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 8 735

By Ohgodmother - 28/02/2014 09:06 - Australia - Hobart

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 413

You deserved it 3 995

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 359

Toxic

By Tiny - 29/07/2014 08:27 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 904

You deserved it 3 801

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 125

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 179

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 507

You deserved it 4 074

By Marteeny - 09/06/2016 03:14

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 149

You deserved it 1 105

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 934

You deserved it 3 500

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 827

You deserved it 25 016

Next

Top comments

Aethren 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 4:30

she saw you get a boner?

naza517 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 23:44

u guys r assholes..... u act like being fat is a ******* crime, yeah some ppl can stand to lose weight but it's ultimately up to them, don't need assholes like u to put them down as well

Comments

mleugim 0

Friday 13 February 2009 23:08

Is she your mother? mmm

greatbelow 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 0:14

She must pay for making that comment....

breenarae25 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 6:07

REVENGEE!!!!!!!!!

gorina 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:15

You guys are way too easily butthurt.

Edmund_Dantes 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 0:54

Are you claiming to be going through the "growth spurt" as an excuse for getting fat? Because your mom's right, growth spurts are generally vertical.

ZING_MASTER 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 2:02

To be fair, you teed that one up pretty high.

Aethren 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 4:30

she saw you get a boner?

hugoni2000 20

Friday 4 December 2015 19:00

Op is female...

xPediophobia 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 11:31

That's something my dad would say.

Stan_Cubed 7

Sunday 25 December 2011 18:12

Hahaha parents are jerks.

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 8:41

what a rude mother. don't take her seriously unless you actually have a health problem and need to lose weight.

youaresofucked 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 22:12

#16 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. But yeah, seriously fatty, get on the treadmill, and stop going to McDonalds.

NoGoodNoUse 0

Friday 8 May 2009 2:00

I'm sorry to say but that was a good burn. Well bad for you good for her

kathira120 3

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:24

Yeahh McDonald's isn't the place for you to be right now, fatty. Shut up and quit complaining. If your so fat, HIT THE FREAKIN GYM!!! FML doesn't need fatties who sit on their butts all day typing FML's like this for attention .get a job...or a girlfriend who will accept your obesity problem....>.>

frenchyhater 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:40

listen mother ******* bitch my best friend is fat and i dont make fun of him you are just a shallow ******* piece of shit youll get yours one day. your probably going to have fat kids

Sweeney90 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 16:03

Tell your "best friend" to get to the gym as well then. Lard arse.

naza517 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 23:44

u guys r assholes..... u act like being fat is a ******* crime, yeah some ppl can stand to lose weight but it's ultimately up to them, don't need assholes like u to put them down as well

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 633

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 951

You deserved it 8 997

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 177

You deserved it 16 610

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 856

You deserved it 29 010

Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 715

You deserved it 1 499

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 550

You deserved it 2 637