Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I came home from work to my three year-old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Daddy, smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it? Then she pushed my face into the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
A good way to discourage him would be to spray chilli sauce on his hand when he's not looking, then sit back and enjoy the ensuring shitstorm.
A07 48
How old is your son exactly?
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Comments (76)
nphill82 21
How can you fart when your finger is plugging your asshole?
ham_spam 17
Lol right
lvg_fml 10
Hey different strokes for different folks
laughingboy23 20
What has happened to this generation. I'm not that old but I feel like my generation was slightly less ****** up at that age.
Elban 20
There's plenty if jobs that need people with a good nose. If he likes the smell if poop waste management is something. Might pay pretty good. Love your job right? Some people never find that
MrsReed 14
Or he might have a future in fart ****...and yes the genre does exist.
team_garra 8
At least he's not sticking it up other people's butts.
tlnorman 18
Your son is extremely weird.
Peatoria 10
#FINGERSINTHEBOOTYASSBITCH
Hildy93 21
That is the grossest thing in the world
Kristen320 21
Sure that wasn't just his excuse for you when he was caught shoving things up his ass?
TAntobella 14
Hugh children do disgusting things..