Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
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Top comments
llama_monicz 21
There's worse things, trust me
Shadowpartner 11
^ weekend snorted.
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Comments (54)
DanCastellaneta 17
Desperation is a bitch, huh.
CatOverlord 14
sounds like my roommate. ugh.