Health: Good tasting

Good tasting

By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 823

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 519

You deserved it 11 330

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 732

You deserved it 40 818

Busted!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 161

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 736

You deserved it 1 751

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 947

You deserved it 1 833

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 478

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 654

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 4 894

By mateyouremental - 21/12/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 111

You deserved it 40 128

mirmir48 13

Sunday 15 December 2019 5:11

this is not how cocaine works

SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8

Sunday 15 December 2019 3:17

This is why we don’t eat food that doesn’t belong to us.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Sunday 15 December 2019 3:12

No, it was sugar.

SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8

Sunday 15 December 2019 3:17

This is why we don’t eat food that doesn’t belong to us.

Lexie 7

Sunday 15 December 2019 3:18

Cocaine is expensive. Nobody would waste it on donuts, you barely would get an effect if you eat cocaine

millie14225 31

Sunday 15 December 2019 5:19

Not to mention, how loaded is the roommate to have enough coke to "sprinkle" it like conf sugar?

lowshadows 21

Sunday 15 December 2019 3:32

fake!

mirmir48 13

Sunday 15 December 2019 5:11

this is not how cocaine works

shannon2348 14

Sunday 15 December 2019 5:41

Right. Cocaine is super expensive and I find it hard to believe someone wasted it on donuts.

weazle 13

Sunday 15 December 2019 7:18

Coke isn’t as expensive as you people are acting like it is

alycion 38

Sunday 15 December 2019 10:23

Unfortunately that is too true. Though I’ve never heard of it consumed this way and an odd way to transport.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Sunday 15 December 2019 12:52

get him arrested when it comes to something like the **** the snitches rule

Seven1SixBlock 4

Sunday 15 December 2019 15:59

Oh my god!!

fullacrapallofyou 14

Sunday 15 December 2019 16:58

What utter bullshit

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 3 620

Today, after growing up in abusive homes most of my life until last year, I'm finally the happiest I could be and I'm getting all the help I need and achieving my dreams. I feel genuinely happy, yet I still want to end it. I've asked doctors for meds but they want me to see a psychiatrist first. The waiting list is more than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 105

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 10 032

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 079

You deserved it 5 048

Today, I learned that lightning and flash flooding are the best motivatiors. I learned this while on a run and 2 miles away from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 658

You deserved it 1 464

Today, I accidentally dropped the batch of bread that was ready for the oven, after waiting for two hours. We have nothing else to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 184