Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
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Top comments
llama_monicz 21
There's worse things, trust me
Shadowpartner 11
^ weekend snorted.
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Comments (54)
saucybugger101 33
Tell him that's snort allowed..
Bryce8 11
The dirty old white liquor.
SubparAtBest 23
State Puff Stay Fluff
scarlett3diaz 24
The struggle is real
rainbowsRlove 15
umm fluffing? I don't understand ppl with this sort of mind frame you inject not snort geez the nerve of some ppl
trucker2 33
That one be scared of needles, you reckon !
trucker2 33
Well, that's a cheep enough High, one could possibly maintain that expense off of lunch money. heard little Tommy was the school supplier.
trucker2 33
Go get a tampon, this one may just cause a nose bleed.
AmIReallyRenee 20
Just bc it looks like cocaine...doesn't mean it always is cocaine
Wiringify 22
Same thing would apply to marshmallows.
rachelrae120 11
please tell me you recorded that, that would have been so funny to watch. pretty sure you don't have powdered sugar in your house lmao
RecklessNapkin 16
What the ****..