Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
llama_monicz 21
There's worse things, trust me
Shadowpartner 11
^ weekend snorted.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
sarcasmine 19
Your roommate sounds like fun
S1N9UL4R17Y 8
Sounds like he was trying to get a sugar high.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I have a friend who snorted salt. I mean, at least your roommate was drunk, my friend was completely sober.
revidffum69 22
I prefer to smoke them.
Sandman2015 12
She'll be gone soon enough. Just make sure you are never anywhere near her so you can't be blamed.
worldclassrager 41
Forget mushrooms use marshmallows...
AwkwardKarma 18
?
False_Stupidity 42
??
novdestiny 23
OP, that's hilarious! You just made my morning!
smoothies14 32
Better that than drugs. I am interested to know how the placebo effect manifested itself though.
Jryan952015 7
Get him some real coke and see which he likes better