Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
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Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!
GhettoXmuffin 7
I'd say eating cocks is more accurate
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Comments (208)
fallenangel31 1
congrats you raised a dumbass
kkatzlove 10
If your daughter is that asinine it leaves one to question your level of intelligence. After all It was you who raised said dumb-ass right?
exohazard 6
Im a doctor, and im afraid your daughter is... A blonde.
xoxPatrina 8
I'm a blonde & I'm not even stupid enough to do that.....
raihaan123 0
Lollzz
delilah09 6
Is it just me ? Our future doesn't look too bright right now. These morons are going to take over the world one day. Sad.
laden_swallow09 35
"Idiocracy" reference?
MrSassypants 34
I always read FMl stories to my pet rock to give her a good laugh but this one just frightened her. She hopes rocks aren't next at all.
bizarre_ftw 22
Be honest, you dropped her as a child, didn't you? No? Glass or thirteen of wine while you were pregnant? Every few hours...
DaMan25 4
@128 dude get a ******* life u obviously have zero friends so u and ur lame ass self try to come on this site and hate on other people well u know what I'm tired of it so **** u and all u annoying as shit old fat people
ABadGynecologist 5
Goodnews is the rock phase was before the packing phase
david6ds 0
nope, a **** is next