Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
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Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!
GhettoXmuffin 7
I'd say eating cocks is more accurate
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Comments (208)
9R1NC3S5 0
Wow. Did you drop the waste of space when she was an infant? at first I thought she was an infant. Retreaded ditz you're raising. Congrats.
ladyLALAA 29
Stole my post!
RelyksTerrier 2
id do the same thing your daughter did
R3TROxLOV3 32
Please tell me you meant to say that she's FOUR... because if she's fourteen and can't tell the difference between styrofoam and candy, you've got bigger issues than the fact that she doesn't know how to differentiate between objects..
jdawg1997 0
Mmm styrafoam :)
make_me_smile 4
I hate when people addsomething stupid to the end of the fml that hasn't hapened yet, like " what's next, eating rocks?"
hurrican_fml 0
Don't jinks yourself!
zebra46 10
More like cocks!
Brujo666 0
Ydi for raising a window licking tard.
Turkey_Slab 0
Yumm rock candy
xremxrem 8
I think she needs a brain scan...