Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
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Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!
GhettoXmuffin 7
I'd say eating cocks is more accurate
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Comments (208)
itsmorganbitch 0
You must be proud of that one!
cooLING 0
Seriously, go check if she has pica. She might have an eating disorder.
MrsLaferriere 0
I had said the same thing.
pbhs08 0
Maybe she thought it was Korean candy, they have candy that looks an awful lot like packing peanuts.
syraxthered 5
It's sad reading fmls about people and their dumb kids, where do they think the kids get their genes from?
Ray_of_midnight 23
Wow. Styrofoam as Christmas candy? Not even Brittany on _Glee_ is that much of a Cloud Cuckoolander. And yeah, I'm going with the people suggesting she might have pica. You should probably have her checked out by a mental-health professional, especially if there are signs that this is ongoing behavior.
sjhill 32
I thought it was common sense that styrofoam doesn't taste like candy and it doesn't really look like it either.
KnucklesDeep 5
Congratulations on raising a retard. I bet you feel so proud of yourself.
ghashlycrumbs 8
Err.. I'm gonna be honest, it sounds more like she has pica and was just lying so you didn't realize.. You might wanna get that checked out.
Gidget9221 0
Are you sure she isn't suffering from an eating disorder? Anorexics sometimes fill up on things such as toilet paper or styrofoam then drink a lot of water.
Bad92LX 1
Survival of the fittest. Please don't let her reproduce.