Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my cat, but accidentally called him by the wrong name. He responded immediately to the incorrect name I used. Meanwhile, his actual name rarely, if ever, grabs his attention. My cat hates his name. It's way too late to change it. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well I mean unless your family members are frequent users of that **** site I don't think calling a snake Mr. Snake is that out of the ordinary
toastbrot 9
I don't think anyone will ever think that you named him after the **** site. after all it's a snake calles mr snake. pretty clear to me why he has that name.
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Comments (65)
Zacholicious 15
One time I named my dog Pussy Destroyer. That didn't go over so well either.
megs925 16
I think your family would be more embarrassed to mention that your snake has the same name as said **** site because, how would they know if they've never visited the site?
aeryn97 17
well if anyone gasps or snickers at the name then you'll know their Internet habits.
PANDORUM89 21
the majority of people, excluding the ones that actually have visited the site, assume you named him Mr. Snake because he is a snake. just like I named my boa Sir Pent. o guarantee not a single person was like OMG he watches ****.
Masift 21
To be fair, I'm pretty sure the phrase "Mr. Snake" has been around longer than the pornsite named "Mr. Snake" has. So like what top comment said, unless they're familiar with that **** site, it's no big deal.
Tyrez 32
Don't worry, pretty much everything is a **** now.
Rainyknights22 16
Just bc you call it that doesn't mean you have to associate it with the **** site.
theswanlake 13
after all he is a "Mr snake" so no biggie
Badkarma4u 17
Dude if you had named your snake Steve,, a **** star would also have that name, as would a murderer and a rapist. You're good.
Mathias1188 7
Should have named him Lt. Dan. Then you could people it was because 'he ain't got no legs'