Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my cat, but accidentally called him by the wrong name. He responded immediately to the incorrect name I used. Meanwhile, his actual name rarely, if ever, grabs his attention. My cat hates his name. It's way too late to change it. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well I mean unless your family members are frequent users of that **** site I don't think calling a snake Mr. Snake is that out of the ordinary
toastbrot 9
I don't think anyone will ever think that you named him after the **** site. after all it's a snake calles mr snake. pretty clear to me why he has that name.
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Comments (65)
livelaughlovepie 22
Oh. I assumed this would be like, "So I checked out what gender Mr. Snake was!"
TAntobella 14
To be honest the most stupid thing was to get a snake as a pet in the first place: snakes are not pets, they suffer in the display case and don't get any sort of pleasure out of human contact, it's all an abuse on their nature. Not to mention that you have to feed them living prays, which is horrendous considering that the pray doesn't have any chance to run away like in the wild. And it's pretty disturbing knowing that you sit there and watch the show of a terrified little animal being swollen and digested alive, and you enjoy it. So I'd say the name is the least of your relatives' concerns, in regards of you and your "pet"snake, OP.
demideity 13
Snakes do NOT have to be fed live prey. I'm against that. Reptiles can and do enjoy affection from humans. Not all, of course. It's not abuse unless you're actually abusing them - hurting them, neglecting them, etc.
Shlalg 15
I'm not sure where you get your snake information from, but most of what you said was your personal preachy feelings, and the rest of what you said is wrong. Like snakes eating and digesting live prey. That's a big NOPE. This is why snakes are either constrictors or venomous, they either squeeze the prey until blood can no longer flow and it dies, or they inject it with venom and it dies. THEN they eat it. Yes, they will suffer in a display case. Thankfully most of us snake owners keep them in a habitat, which is specified to their ideal parameters of living. Look at Ball Pythons: they enjoy a lifespan of 20-40 years this way, with a record of 48. In the wild, their average lifespan is ten. Many die from small injuries that get infected, or are preyed upon by other animals. Some starve. Mine gets mice every month guaranteed. Most snakes in the pet industry are captive bred, and fine with people. Mine actually prefers to be around my neck when out of his vivarium, because he likes soaking up my body heat while hiding in my hair. TL;DR - My snake is happy and healthy whereas in the wild he'd prolly already be dead.
TheCerealKiller 24
Somebody has never done any research on captive bred snakes beyond that awful and wrong article PETA released a while back.
ThrottleJockey 36
What a coincidence; I call mine Mr. Snake as well. He usually stays in my pants though, not a cage.
carolinew 10
This is kind of pointless. I doubt your family is going to assume that you named your snake after a **** site
quarterbird 18
It's a snake. Though the name is uninspired, it's not that big a deal. I'd be more concerned with anyone who thought of **** when seeing an actual snake named Mr. Snake.
samlovesham1234 9
At least it's not named Trousersnake.
aoktrouble 1
I kid you not, someone in my office named their dog Fluffer. She didn't know what it meant; we were dying laughing.
calmdownturbo21 6
Why was this even posted
mrBearBear 11
Anybody else wanting to look up this site now? xD
PharmacyJoe 13
I keep envisioning your snake wearing a monocle and top hat with a name like that.