Animals, Cats and Cute: Catcalled - FML

Catcalled

By Hmmm - 07/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I tried to talk to my cat, but accidentally called him by the wrong name. He responded immediately to the incorrect name I used. Meanwhile, his actual name rarely, if ever, grabs his attention. My cat hates his name. It's way too late to change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 469

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Same thing different taste

Sorry sweaty, my brain is melting

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 22:01

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 364

It's me!

By He who must not be named - 28/10/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, my mom struggled tried to say my name. She said my brother's name, my sister's, my dad's, my uncle's, and finally my cat's (who doesn't even have a human name) before she gave up and said, "You!" and pointed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 120

By catfriend - 06/05/2014 05:42 - United States - Salida

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 009

You deserved it 4 843

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

By somefamily - 26/04/2012 07:11 - United States - Wayne

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 058

You deserved it 4 396

Or so you thought…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom called me by the wrong name. This isn't the first time. It wouldn't be so bad, except I'm her only kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 95

Jane Doe

By her - 11/01/2022 08:01

Today, I accidentally called my friend by the wrong name. She's no longer speaking to me, because she thinks I have absolutely zero respect for her, and don’t care about her at all. In reality, she just looks exactly like the person whose name I called her by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 336

It's pronounced Renesmée

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 16:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 475

By rosabelle91 - 17/06/2012 14:58 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 446

You deserved it 14 793

What's my name again?

By Lauren - 18/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 104

Next

Top comments

Nico Noppe 9

Friday 8 March 2024 18:31

How is it too late to change it? It's a cat!

Lost Reggie 20

Friday 8 March 2024 6:46

It's a cat, call it whatever, if it responds to Toaster Face, use it.

Comments

Lost Reggie 20

Friday 8 March 2024 6:46

It's a cat, call it whatever, if it responds to Toaster Face, use it.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 8 March 2024 13:14

My cat responds to several name's lol use whatever works for you.

Nico Noppe 9

Friday 8 March 2024 18:31

How is it too late to change it? It's a cat!

jlc82 9

Saturday 9 March 2024 3:43

very obviously not too late... the wrong name is what he responds to then change it and move on with your life 🤷‍♀️

great_nate 26

Sunday 10 March 2024 2:16

Cats don’t care about the name you give them.

Yudith 24

Sunday 10 March 2024 18:03

Apparently, this one does.

idragosani 15

Monday 11 March 2024 16:46

How is it too late if he's responding to the new name anyway?

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 882

You deserved it 2 958

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 755

You deserved it 31 556

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 1 159

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 4 084

Today, I made myself a smoothie with fruits and wild greens, which tasted much better than it looked, so I licked the splashes off the blender’s lid. Including a stray leaf that didn’t get blended. Which turned out to be stinging nettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 883

Today, my spouse gave me the gift of hugging me. I'm so touch-starved, I cried. I can see our relationship crumbling but I'm the only one who seems to want to fix it. Our kid saw me and I can't even explain how sad it made me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 153