Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my cat, but accidentally called him by the wrong name. He responded immediately to the incorrect name I used. Meanwhile, his actual name rarely, if ever, grabs his attention. My cat hates his name. It's way too late to change it. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well I mean unless your family members are frequent users of that **** site I don't think calling a snake Mr. Snake is that out of the ordinary
toastbrot 9
I don't think anyone will ever think that you named him after the **** site. after all it's a snake calles mr snake. pretty clear to me why he has that name.
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Comments (65)
tika12991 15
It's the internet, dude. Pretty sure there's a **** site under almost any phrase you can think of. Still sucks though.
laden_swallow09 35
Uhh, no? He's a snake. He's a male. Therefore, he's Mr. Snake. Who gives a flying shit about pornstars' names? Though I'm reminded how Hannah Montana was originally supposed to be named Alexis Texas, but a quick cross-reference revealed it was already taken by a **** actress. BUT, since your lowly pet reptile isn't going to be the star of a show with millions of preteens watching across the nation, I'm certain you haven't anything to worry about. It's. Just. A name.
Mightytall 35
Don't let finding that **** site distract you from having chosen that name and the fun you had doing so. Years ago Serena used to be a popular girls name, then a company brought out female hygiene products with that brand name. Guess how all these girls felt about that at the time... Now the brand is gone from the shelves. Maybe eventually that page will also be history.
Enslaved 38
If your family finds out, just tell them the **** site must have gotten its name long after you already named your pet. If they research it and find out that's not true, then they went to the site to see some slongs at no fault butt their own.
FelicityWishes 32
An innocent mistake. I'm sure it's okay.
Badkarma4u 17
I wouldn't even call it a mistake.
xn3x 10
Haha. My family used to have a dog named... Dick. My parents have no clue what it means in English, and stories about that dog is one of their top conversation subjects, with old and new friends and acquaintances. Still not sure if I should tell them :)
leogachi 15
@19 Dick is a pretty common nickname for men named Richard.
TurquoiseJesus 15
#35, in the 1950s maybe. At least in the same era where boner meant mistake.
xn3x 10
I guess now it might be more common the other way around, as in dicks being given a nickname Richard.
H3LL_K1D 15
It's a snake!!!
supr_sexy 9
why would someone pet a snake. . did all the dogs n cats die in OP'S country.
Geckosrock99 33
#44, Some people are allergic to furry animals, so if they want pets, they have to go either the hypoallergenic route, or exotic route. I have a bird and an iguana because of this.
ThreeSheets 14
Pretty much every word and name has a double meaning. Don't worry too much, if someone giggles, then you know where they have been!!
writerchic85 26
My snakes name is Indiana but I still call him mr snake
mwali02 32
Don't lose sleep over this. It's a snake. His name is fine.