Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML
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Top comments
baileys82 0
good on you for trying to keep her off the road. i hope this was reported to the police.
Tubasaurus 0
You called the police right? She committed at least 3 serious crimes by doing that. DUI, public intoxication (depending on state laws), and assault with a deadly weapon (also depending on state laws). She at least needs to be aware of how serious this is.
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Comments (106)
24788 7
She's clearly one of those people who have no brain cells left. Shouldn't be allowed to drink.
Lambshanks 0
Hahahahahahahahahaha
quinnteh 0
If she was dumb enough to want to drink and drive and even had a spare key so that others can't stop her... you may have been better off letting nature run it's course. FYL regardless though.
ihatestupidppl 0
I'm so tempted to agree with you, but the only problem is the other people she could hurt (like OP). Otherwise, if it was guaranteed nature would run its course without getting innocent people involved, hell yeah
sharkshaveteeth 0
At least you were trying to do the right thing! I hope that she did not hit you too hard and that you are back to 110% soon! Did you report her, because I would have!
zehr0 0
and you're not dead after being hit by a drunk driver? ******* miracle.
aback 5
Prosecute. The life you save may be your own.
frozenicecream 0
noo ******* wayyy!!! lmfaooo. u must be s great person
frozenicecream 0
maybe he doesn't have a licence motherfuckers hence why he's walking home
studentwoes 2
In future cases, if you try to prevent someone from driving home drunk and they are refusing to let you stop them, the best thing you can do is call the police immediately, with the car make, model, license, colour, and the direction it was heading.
F_Y_Comments 0
It's shit that it happened but you kinda deserve it. You take her keys which you hoped stopped her driving and running anyone over (irony there) but should have made sure she got home OK, if she'd tried to make her own way home without a car, anything could of happened to her. So if you try to be a hero, follow through.
Norwegian_Wood 4
She left herself stranded though. When she decided to drive to a party, then got to the party and got drunk, she stranded herself. She should have known "Oh, hey, I drove here, so I can't drink too much, so I'm not stranded here for the night."
kaaz_fml 0
#45 and #48 are complete dipsh*ts. You deserve whatever is coming to you when you're drunk. How does he deserve it when he's trying to do something nice for someone, hmm? The point is that they're your friend, so you give them their keys back tomorrow. Or maybe the guy was drunk too so that's why he couldn't drive her home. Maybe he had no money for the cab. Nice try 45,48. I hope both of you drive drunk, don't complain about it because you obviously deserved that one if you think this guy deserves it.