Love: Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 10 280

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 449

You deserved it 4 073

By icantdrive - 19/03/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 73 390

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 69 644

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 006

You deserved it 24 008

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 390

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 034

You deserved it 3 507

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 43 200

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 9 633

By ronboy - 26/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 760

You deserved it 2 816

Extreme hangover

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 18:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 928

juststephhere 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Well now you know to not trust strangers with your vehicle. Next time just call a cab...

patrickeli 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

Serves you right for getting overly drunk and trusting a stranger.

Comments

juststephhere 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Well now you know to not trust strangers with your vehicle. Next time just call a cab...

adrian1910 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:54

Why I drive a motorcycle? No one can use it except me.

juststephhere 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:24

Haha you're not the only person who can drive a motorcycle silly! A lot of them have two seats too! You also shouldn't be driving one while you're drunk...

patrickeli 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

Serves you right for getting overly drunk and trusting a stranger.

lj19717 19

Saturday 3 January 2015 19:56

As opposed to getting drunk and driving yourself home?

JustinJK 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 20:07

@47 or you know they could have called a cab, taken a bus, used uber, asked a friend. I would never trust a random to drive my car.

RenoTheRhino 30

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

Appeal the DUI. If you have any evidence, like security camera footage from the club showing you two leave, maybe you can get off with just a wrecked car.

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 8:57

I hope you have her phone #. Hopefully, though doubtful, you can have your car checked for prints. Otherwise, you're gonna need a good lawyer...

adamjcurryy 19

Saturday 3 January 2015 23:35

Eye witnesses should be able to point out a girl running from the scene as well. Hang in there, OP; just don't trust strangers like that again.

Marie54321 19

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:30

Does stranger danger mean nothing to you?

MrConcise 34

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:43

I, err, really think that might be a misapplication of the phrase....

quickit 24

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:52

I think the application of the phrase would have saved OP a ton of money.

Just_A_Tree 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:03

Louis C.K. : "guys just sort of push everything off all night when trying to get laid. Once they come it's like reality just rushes in and hits them in the face. It's like coming back down from the Hulk. Really surprised and confused as they realize everything that's happened."

drizzy11 18

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:56

thank you for your service

Dcm210 19

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

YDI for trusting a crazy woman.

swaglesshipster 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

Well you're alive. You've got that going for you!

magicman13 9

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

bitches ain't nothing but hoes and triks

J_Jay98 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:32

Why would you trust a random stranger? But sorry about your car, that sucks.

devildog562 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:39

I have to say you deserve it. One for trusting someone you just met, at a club no less. Chances are she was drinking or on something as well. Finally, there are so many other options to get home safely. On that note , sorry you had a hard lesson. Hopefully a medical personnel can confirm the seatbelt mark on the shoulder, if you hit hard enough.