Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if…" as he flung it around, and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
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Top comments
jim69_fml 0
seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard
tati3092 1
hahah ur a little slow or alot
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Comments (253)
cultvegas 0
he fuccin retarded but the chic below is hott!!!
miamiboi 3
Wow. How did u sleep knowing ur a complete dumbass
capilot 10
Man, I am soooo not inviting you to join my band of survivors if civilization collapses. You'd be totally useless. Hmmm, maybe we could use you as bait to distract the zombies. Yeah, that might work. Forget what I just said; welcome aboard.
somewhat_fml 0
are you retarded?
EmilyLuv 0
haha, been there, done that xD
Ellen_Farrah 0
wow ur an idiot
madalynn 11
hahahahahahahaha xDDD wow that's a fail. but really, don't feel stupid, that kind of stuff happens to even really smart people.
salsalover_12 5
Ok guys, look at the bright side..we're all geniuses compared to OP so lets try to figure out what happened here 1) either the can was upside down or OP is to dumb to see a GIANT TAB on top of the can 2) OP hit the top of the can with the can opener repeatedly like a confused caveman 3) watching one video about how to open a can just wouldnt do OP is so stupid that it actually took 5 videos just for him to understand taking all this into consideration I've come to the conclusion that Op is patrick star from the show "spongebob squarepants"
williamscott 0
you are retarded
niknik2014 1
wow what an idiot how can u miss that...I don't think this is real