Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if…" as he flung it around, and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
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Top comments
jim69_fml 0
seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard
tati3092 1
hahah ur a little slow or alot
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Comments (253)
yankfan89 27
Please don't reproduce
pao0720 7
When the power goes out and the only food u have is in a can, I guess ur gonna be the one that starves... I think automatic can openers are for stupid lazy people and are bulkier and harder to use!
ZielZone 4
You're an idiot. Please don't breed!
123ilovejustinb 12
Chef Boy Are You Stupid!
moe112 0
r u blond?
muffinstump 0
Wow amazing...
prego_05112012 10
Wow, congratulations, you're a retard.
ZeroIce 12
Chef Boyardi? (cant spell whoops)
sellout39 0
plz dont have any children.
GraceyGirl523 9
For one time in my life I'm thankful for my cheap parents that won't buy an electric can opener. I have no faith in this generation.