Miscellaneous: Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual...

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 857

You deserved it 65 713

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Same thing different taste

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 513

You deserved it 25 990

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 2 069

By afraidofcans - 23/10/2012 16:01 - United States - Stafford

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 765

You deserved it 4 444

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 146

By tstaeger - 24/07/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 422

You deserved it 37 808

Good morning!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if-" as he flung it around and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 871

You deserved it 199

Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 777

Goober

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 02:00

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 773

By sillybrohos - 15/02/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 312

You deserved it 33 793

First time

By februarymarchapril - 04/02/2015 03:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 662

You deserved it 42 856

jim69_fml 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:07

seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard

tati3092 1

Wednesday 10 November 2010 22:03

hahah ur a little slow or alot

Comments

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:37

... And you can dress yourself? Amazing.

illjusbedamned 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:41

you shouldn't be allowed to eat.

at0micmin3r 23

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:41

Today, I read that someone can't even use a can opener. They got dumbed down by technology. Really? A can opener? FML

chocolatemocha 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:45

If you can't figure out how to use a manual can opener, you obviously have some problems. I agree with the biggest fail thing though.

dtegrl 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 7:58

Really...? Really...? Are your parents brother and sister?

al3xg 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:03

WTF

BIGshooter 2

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:20

Bro you are fail super tard.

Sharpie_08 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:29

jack ass

gunman15 4

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:39

finally someone stupider than me now I can proudly tell people that I'm not the dumbest person one earth

stewpididiot 11

Thursday 11 November 2010 8:40

WWDS ? What Would Darwin Say ? he'd say " HEY!!! YOU !!!! OUTA THE GENE POOL !!!! "

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The Top

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 131

You deserved it 688

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 371

The Top

Today, I haven’t had a haircut in 15 months. Our politicians announced that the lockdown, prohibiting haircuts, commerce and social life, will go on even longer than previously decided. Our impeccably coiffed politicians, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 214

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 248

You deserved it 28 737

Today, my 36 year-old husband decided that I’m not his soulmate and he made a mistake marrying me. Why? Because he believes that the 19 year-old girl he met on his video game online thing is instead, and they’re "meant to be." We’ve been married for 5 years and had our second child a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 100

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 166

You deserved it 4 806

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 101

You deserved it 3 171

Today, whenever I leave my husband alone with the kids, he still refers to it as "babysitting", especially when he’s complaining about it to his brothers as the reason he never has fun anymore. I always assumed dads were parents too, not unpaid babysitters who get to whine about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 242