Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if…" as he flung it around, and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
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Top comments
jim69_fml 0
seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard
tati3092 1
hahah ur a little slow or alot
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Comments (253)
ginger20037 5
Here you go folks! The reason why most men don't cook! xD
TurkeySlab 9
No hope for the human race. At all.
alliem199521 10
Ur probably usd to an electronic one right? Stupid pretentious ****.
RKD 23
HA HA HA don't worry, OP, I have things like that!
tarbaby6193 6
Ppl like u are why I have no faith left in humanity u should think about getting euthanized.
blackwidowtaco 31
You must live a very sheltered life, op. Using a manual can opener is one of the first things I learned how to do when I got my first job.
NordicPride89 5
And the Darwin Award goes to...
smr1234 9
really??? you must have been brought up a rich kid.
bopersonn 13
HAHAHAHA FAIL
hegchog12 18
I never knew there was any other kind of can opener.