Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
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By
gonad_gobbler
| 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
Reply
airforce987
| 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school."
Receptionist: "Oh yeah?"
OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles."
Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that."
OP: *O.O*
Receptionist: "Oh yeah?"
OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles."
Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that."
OP: *O.O*
Reply
Drigr
| 9
OP: Hey Receptionist: Umm... Hi? OP: Man I wish I could get over this dry spell. Receptionist: Err... Okay? OP: Yeah, I haven't been laid in 6 months. Receptionist: Uh, that sucks? OP: Yeah, so what about you? Receptionist: Well, last night I rode the fuck outta my husband, your boss, like a wild stalion 3 times, so I guess I've been on a dry spell for... 2 hours? OP: But its only 8 in the morning! Receptionist: You know what they say, morning sex is the best sex! OP: I'm gonna go now... Receptionist: Good idea.
Reply
memob123
| 0
^nice try bro
Reply
Drigr
| 9
I wonder if it woulda been funnier if I hadn't been the third attempt... Yeah, you're right, it still woulda sucked
Reply
AwkwardPartyBear
| 24
18- Your comment= perfect! I can't think of the condom going any other way!
72- Nice try but keep trying, sport.
72- Nice try but keep trying, sport.
Reply
AwkwardPartyBear
| 24
*Conversation! (damn,you autocorrect)
^ Don't sweat it at least you know now :)
^ Don't sweat it at least you know now :)
Reply
marthagayo
| 14
Omg 18! I just laughed so hard! Thank you for that.
Reply
day624
| 14
Genius
Reply
Thegunners0101
| 2
I said a bang, bang, bangity bang I said a bang bang bangity bang, bang bang bang
By
SkoomaKi
| 27
OP "You've had a turn of the old bull, how about trying the young calf?"
Reply
steve247
| 2
I think "stud" would be a better word here than "calf"
Reply
iloveHU15
| 6
haha, love that movie!
Reply
whitekid1497
| 7
How can u subtly hint that someone is bangable?
OP: hey... receptionist...ur...*furtively looks around and whispers* bangable
OP: hey... receptionist...ur...*furtively looks around and whispers* bangable
Reply
nick315
| 8
I think it's more op: pretends to have shot gun makes *BANG noise then says that's what I'd do to you if you let me. Then he ;).
By
55z
| 1
Wonder how your boss thinks about you thinking that "Shes bangable"
Reply
coried91
| 28
Why would you need to wonder? He's probably pissed.
Reply
lebronesque73091
| 12
No raise for him.
Reply
kayla_ann0o
| 9
I wouldn't be mad if some one said my wife was bangable. At least she's not getting called sloppy.
Reply
xplainphrox
| 8
A raise of a different kind... When he sees her again... Rofl
By
sleepy4932
| 0
Did she flirt back
Reply
IronicIrony
| 8
I'm going to go out on a limb and say no.
Reply
Heinousness
| 0
31) correct.
Reply
manyourlifesucks
| 0
If you consider replying with "im telling your boss!" to be flirting then yes. Yes she did.
By
55z
| 1
Wonder how your boss thinks about you thinking that "Shes bangable"
By
JayByrd13
| 6
at least the boss wasn't right beside her! ;)
By
ninjadinos
| 14
Eek, looks like meetings and evaluations are going to be awkward from here on out...
But seriously op, why would hint that somebody you work with is bangable without knowing any details? Even the minor ones about being married?
But seriously op, why would hint that somebody you work with is bangable without knowing any details? Even the minor ones about being married?
Reply
xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
I'd say that being married is more of a major detail rather than minor.
Reply
springywdcc
| 2
I would bang a married woman, that's a turn on
By
puppytaco64
| 8
Just do it Nike
Reply
iliketurdles
| 7
Shut up, Meg. I mean puppytaco.
By
Jasonf6
| 0
Nice workplace sexual harassment there pal.
Reply
Drigr
| 9
Hey, he was subtle about it. It's not like he walked into the office and blurted out "I love your beautiful heart-shaped hiney. Can I was my winky in your kitchen sinky?"
Ten points for the first person to understand the reference
Ten points for the first person to understand the reference
Reply
schmelia
| 10
The subtle ones are the worst because you can't outright reject them/tell them to stop being creepy ("oh, I didn't mean for you to take it THAT way! You know I'm just kidding around" blah blah blah). At least when someone's blatant it's easy to put a stop to it.
Reply
downtime
| 12
Sexual harassment is way too sensitive an issue. Saying that you like someone shouldn't be sexual harassment, people should have a right to air out feelings. People need to just embrace their humanity and stop pretending to be robots without feelings.
Of course there is a difference between telling someone "Hey, I find you really attractive, would you ever be interested in going out with me" then being turned down and moving on and persisting with hinting, propositions and innuendo. A little maturity would be good in these situations, otherwise you DO end up with idiots who will keep popping up trying to drop "hints" because they know if they outright state their feelings they're looking at being in a heap of trouble.
Relationships are a part of life, they can't develop in a closeted environment where such interaction is shunned.
Of course there is a difference between telling someone "Hey, I find you really attractive, would you ever be interested in going out with me" then being turned down and moving on and persisting with hinting, propositions and innuendo. A little maturity would be good in these situations, otherwise you DO end up with idiots who will keep popping up trying to drop "hints" because they know if they outright state their feelings they're looking at being in a heap of trouble.
Relationships are a part of life, they can't develop in a closeted environment where such interaction is shunned.
Reply
MuchDance90s
| 0
not appropriate at work. period.
Reply
downtime
| 12
Not appropriate at YOUR work.
You shouldn't make a blanket statement like that when plenty of highly productive workplaces embrace human relationships and function quite successfully.
You shouldn't make a blanket statement like that when plenty of highly productive workplaces embrace human relationships and function quite successfully.
Reply
cjb87
| 23
Gonna go ahead and say that if she felt the need to state that she's married, and that her husband is OP's boss, OP was not being as subtle as he claims/believes.
By
LuckyTroll
| 6
Shoulda asked if married.
Reply
ninjadinos
| 14
"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Mark. You married?"
That might not be such a great idea either.
That might not be such a great idea either.
Reply
Krirn
| 21
That's what rings are for.
Reply
Drigr
| 9
I know a few women who wear rings (on their left ring finger) without being married or trying to appear that way
Receptionist: "Oh yeah?"
OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles."
Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that."
OP: *O.O*