Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
titzenpitzer 9
Like a boss!
titzenpitzer 9
hit on deborah! Get rejected! Swallow sadness! Send some faxes!
titzenpitzer 9
f..., I should read every comment. But I don't. And I won't :(
kayla_ann0o 9
lol. You comment on your comment?
titzenpitzer 9
ssssh..I try to ignore it..
LonghornArch 2
I really don't think bangable is really a good way to mentally prepare yourself for a woman. Maybe you should start slow like woman ughh, me bring home ughh!
Trisha_aus 15
When did you find out she was his wife? When she told you to piss off after you said she was 'bangable'?! Romance is dead I swear! YDI For even mentioning such an idiotic term only used by imbeciles
gigaeel18 0
First step in hitting on a girl, try to learn more about them.
iloveweed69 7
Someone is not getting laid ;o
lavitaebella_fml 0
You should have been like: OP: "I have a math test this Friday." Boss's Wife: "What?" OP: "Sorry, I thought we were naming things we could cheat on."
sidviciousmum 3
U still wanna bang her?
Quest_ 13
Your immediate response to a new female employee is to tell her you want to **** her? You disrespect her like it ain't no thang but it becomes an FML as soon as you find out you disrespected your male boss. YDI for being a sexist moron!
laevatin 2
I would suggest you find another job, if she told her husband, you're ****** and fired, and you have your stupidity to thank for that thinking women are "bangable" by just looking at them. Between us, I hope you get fired ^^ hopefully you will learn your lesson for being a moron.
bazingabitches 17
Did you not notice her wedding ring as you oh so artfully called her bang-able?