Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
hotPinklipstick 24
NoorFML I don't know how to break this to you but Ezio is cheating on you with me. I am madly in love with him. He is mine. :)
StalwartKitten 4
Maybe your boss doesn't mind sharing his wife .....otherwise you are in trouble.
gamercanadian 11
Look at this way if she told your boss, you could've been fired. So in a way it is a win for you OP.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Too bad for the both of you he was just using you to get information and closer to targets. He always comes back to me. ~_^
Heinousness 0
This is funny. But Noor FML, what game?
SmeXikoE 3
Not to be rude but.. You three need to get out more. Even if it's just sarcasm :
ayattlovesyou325 8
really?!?! BANGABLE?!?! u must be a real hit with the ladies...
BadKitty13 28
Your gonna get fired for that one ... serves you right. YDI
monicadempsy 5
What happend to employes can not date?
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Employees can date. However this went past nice flirting when he said she is "bangable" ... Doesn't want to date or get to know her, all he wanted was to get laid.
monicadempsy 5
I meant her and the boss.
hockey331 1
If I was you I would hope she doesn't tell your boss.