Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
perdix 31
Pigs like you don't know how to "subtly" hint that your prey is bangable. You probably said a lot of vile and disgusting things to her that you consider witty and charming. Maybe she'll tell her husband and you'll be the one getting banged, or maybe she'll keep that as a threat over your head to make you fetch her coffee and pick up his dry cleaning. Dumb ass.
EmreArslan 11
Now now Perdix, calm down. He never said how he did it or how he is. You don't have to call names. But yeah he is definetly a dumb ass xD
Awsumuzzie 12
Don't calm down! I'm looking forward to another one of your comments.
downtime 13
What's wrong with you?! Taking a solid stance on issues is only going to lead to bad things. Go back to indifference! It's too late for me, but you still have time to avoid making the move to the dark side...
thelastavailable 13
"prey"?
allard 14
'Hit on Debrah, Like a boss. Get rejected, like a boss. Swallow sadness, like a boss.'
Drigr 9
Next time he might make sure the boss also doesn't find the sexy secretary "bangable." Wow, the way that came out almost sounds like the makings of an office porno.
shutupanddance 0
Subtly hint she was bangable? OP: You're really ... Uh ... *cough* Bangable *cough* Secretary: Excuse me? OP: You know, um, *bangs fist on desk* Bang! Bang! You like that? Boss: Oh, heeeeellllll no!
chels1994 11
I don't believe anyone who refers to women as "bangable" to be even slightly respectful. YDI all the way.
MrBrightside21 20
Where's Lonely Island when you need them?
yatiny 0
Now right here would be a moment for a good facepalm
SlaveToRetail 10
"Bangable?" YDI for being a tool.
aaahhhfire21 0
I don't see a raise or promotion in your future anytime soon possibly not a job hope u got some resumes
capnbzarr 43
That makes me a saaad panda. On a serious note, you could take this as a cue to try learning more about your potential partners' lives before you talk about yourself and where you'd like to put your dick.