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Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

By potassiumgirl / Wednesday 11 April 2012 19:53 / United States - Hollywood
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By  haidere  |  3

Go buy a dildo or watch porn. Middle schoolers use bananas.

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  ninjaboy18  |  6

Your boyfriend should not be complaining. At least he gets some head. My girlfriend thinks it's nasty and does not want to do it. He should be thankful..

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  ghostlilac  |  25

K. ^ lame chem joke

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  SoSickWithIt  |  14

^ clever, clever! It took me three times to read that and get what it meant. I think my mind wanted to block off all perverted thoughts, but then again, vibrator was in the paragraph..

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Wait 47 i dont get it...

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  tellithowitis  |  13

One time I told a lame joke... Everyone thought it was lame. Heh heh heh... Okay no *crawls back into corner

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  SkoomaKi  |  24

Slightly cold with a hint of meanness.

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  ASSASSIN95  |  16

Well at least your trying :)

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  hawkey126  |  0

Dafuq did I just read?

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  kayla_ann0o  |  9

Why is everyone saying she swallows? When you swallow does it go to your lungs? Hope not.

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  kayla_ann0o  |  9

84-go figure?

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  skoob1  |  12

"swallow bitch, there's people starving in Africa... Single every single day, do it every single way, make the single ladies say oh Bo"~Bo burnham

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  The_Hitdude  |  12

kayla_annOo: Do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up. Not only will you be doing yourself a favor, you will be doing all of us one aswell. Why? Because we won't have to waste or time watching your idiocy play out. Thanks in advance.

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  Mooish  |  18

But I like the clever puns, you guys all pleasure me with your hands!

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  br0ccoli  |  14

151- LOL "I was just walking and then suddenly I fell and in the process my pants fell to my knees which caused my curling iron to stick straight up and I happened to land on it perfectly so much so that it penetrated me." LOL.

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/ thinks he's cool cuz he uses /

By  DracoSpirita  |  21

I don't understand this FML... Mostly because where I live I am not exposed to things like sex, so I know next to nothing about it.

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  ReAnnMichelle  |  0

Dude that must suck. You never get to enjoy the pleasure of sex && you never get to have a baby!

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  Uramonkey  |  11

i'm 99.9999999% sure you are not from a public school. either that or you are the least curious person i have ever heard of. you post on fml yet you have never searched up sex.

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  Fml_FTW228  |  10

Either you're lying or stupid/unobservant. You say you live where you have not been exposed to, at least, sexual education in school. Also, you're 17... WTF?!? You don't know even what a blowjob is at 17?

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  eeppiicc  |  8

If what your little profile thing says is true, that you live in the USA then you must be blowing smoke out your ass. Of course you probably wouldn't understand that either because of where you live. But seriously you live in the US are 17 have the powers of FML and the internetz and you don't understand. I call BS Tldr: #7 I call BS because you live in the USA and are 17

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  Awsumuzzie  |  12

Wtf 95, that's not all the pleasures of life. You're too young to give "funny advice" like that. Go enjoy being a kid while you can... Btw, anyone understand the mentality of girls when as soon as they have sex, apparently, they know all there is to know about it?

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  koolkat27  |  13

I could understand if you were homeschooled or just very devoutly religious, but really? You don't know what a blowjob is and you're 17? Sad life you live I guess.

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  DracoSpirita  |  21

I do go to a private catholic school, taught by nuns, and live an extremely restricted life because my parents are religious and won't let me go out with friends or date.

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  DracoSpirita  |  21

What is so wrong with the people of this world that it's hard for people to believe that someone can be innocent at the age of seventeen? I swear, people disgust me.

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  bizarre_ftw  |  21

By 17 many are (nearly) sexually mature and have passed through some of their horniest years, if you're completely innocent you either have a hormonal issue, you lack all form of curiosity, or you're psychologically damaged Also, might I mention, curiosity is know to be one of tge most important things we humans have, it in a sense makes us human

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  DracoSpirita  |  21

After the hell that is my life, it's most likely that out of those options, I am psychologically damaged. I doubt it, however, seeing as all of my friends are just as innocent as I am.

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  downtime  |  12

291, Ignorance is nothing to be proud of. The sad thing is, you think people disgust you because of their ability to embrace humanity. There are plenty of things humans do that are disgusting, sex is not one of them.

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  downtime  |  12

That's an opinion. Not a fact. You also assume people think it's a worthless activity. Why don't you just make a few more assumptions while you're at it.

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  DracoSpirita  |  21

I was not making assumptions. I did not say that everyone treated it like a worthless activity. It just seems to me that, based on the comments of other FMLs, a lot of people on here think that. Sorry if you take offense to my opinion. Jeez.

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  downtime  |  12

Bitching because I think what you're saying is crap is not a valid argument. You can give your opinions, I don't have to agree with them, and I don't have to keep mine to myself.

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  _krystallynn_  |  11

at least theres one guy in the world who's whole life doesn't revolve around sex. and he's honest about it. unlike a lot of guys, who fuck anything they can get their penis in.

By  C94_  |  0

Well.... Yea fyl

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