Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
ThatGuyRory 9
Yeah, why exactly should she shut up?
ThatGuyRory 9
It could of been a hell of a lot worse if you mentioned to the Boss how tidy his receptionist is.
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
Here are step-by-step instruction on how to hit on a 'Bangable' girl. 1) MAKE SURE SHE ISN'T MARRIED 2) Assuming you're not an idiot and you followed the first step,start by being sweet. Ask her about her day even if you don't care. 3) Up your game and break the contact barrier so long as she isn't your boss' wife. 4) Make sure you don't come across as a jerk, douche, liar, or cheater but you probably will, considering you just flirted with your superior's spouse. I think you missed a step.
DracoSpirita 21
Two thumbs up to this. Well said. =)
greenmen 12
Lol not true you can still bang a married one
The0wned32 0
The boss could have been ur wing man
onealmxwilson 18
Maybe your boss will try hitting on you face and various other parts of your body.
beastyboy447 0
Sounds like a bad case of sexual frustration
Elendil_fml 10
That's why you don't ever hit in a girl until you get a look at her fingers. If there's a ring there, move on.
EvilTeddysRock 2
your a jerk op'bangable' really? either you're a cocky jack ass or really desperate.go play in traffic.
Calyx_fml 22
Threesome?
greenmen 12
Yeah do it
KiddNYC1O 22
In your face.