By parenting fail - 20/9/2020 11:01 - United States

A teenage dream's so hard to beat…

Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1686

You deserved it

147

Tweet

Share

Gas giant

Get the hell out of Dodge

Non-baby fever

By mrtut - 29/10/2010 12:17 - United Kingdom

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32592

You deserved it

13073

Tweet

Share

By ChubbyTubby - 17/1/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24471

You deserved it

6654

Tweet

Share

By GiveMeCake - 2/12/2018 22:00

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2708

You deserved it

220

Tweet

Share

By Should I stay or go? - 17/2/2017 17:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was supposed to hear from my supervisor about whether or not my company was going to be letting me go. I've been on continual probation for the last 6 months, waiting to hear when they'll decide. She'd said last Friday that I'd definitely hear from her today. It's now 5:30 p.m. She's gone home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6338

You deserved it

592

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11813

You deserved it

40932

Tweet

Share

By Anonymoose - 8/9/2015 19:12 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I found out I wasn't cool enough to be invited to a college party that happened last night. The one in charge of inviting people was my girlfriend of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25156

You deserved it

2084

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/1/2010 15:59 - United States

Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31150

You deserved it

4264

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/7/2019 14:03

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "2 minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1437

You deserved it

168

Tweet

Share

By ugh - 28/4/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20926

You deserved it

57358

Tweet

Share

By sounfair90 - 27/5/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64617

You deserved it

21337

Tweet

Share

By Rhea - 28/10/2009 11:00 - Australia

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36031

You deserved it

3688

Tweet

Share

By deadandwasted - 20/2/2010 08:20 - United States

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34440

You deserved it

2430

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/12/2010 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14376

You deserved it

23429

Tweet

Share

By emergencyroom - 15/3/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51365

You deserved it

9350

Tweet

Share

By notatherapist - 1/10/2014 23:08 - Netherlands - Huizen

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47331

You deserved it

6279

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58147

You deserved it

4558

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/10/2014 20:43 - United States - Tempe

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

I agree, your life sucks

38300

You deserved it

3081

Tweet

Share

By PoorMe - 22/2/2013 13:06 - United States

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38487

You deserved it

4696

Tweet

Share

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/8/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33777

You deserved it

19881

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/1/2011 11:38 - Australia

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40536

You deserved it

3040

Tweet

Share

By ShadowJack - 29/4/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41266

You deserved it

9712

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/8/2013 18:21 - Canada - Grand Falls

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41383

You deserved it

10556

Tweet

Share

By really - 19/2/2013 15:27 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38372

You deserved it

8452

Tweet

Share

By DemonicDummy - 5/1/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10561

You deserved it

2649

Tweet

Share

By bmaas - 17/3/2010 16:53 - United States

Today, I was playing volleyball in gym when I went up for a spike. As I was coming down, I elbowed a girl in the face. It turns she's the second most important lead in our school musical, which we perform on Thursday. Her nose is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31764

You deserved it

6060

Tweet

Share

By HSampsON - 13/10/2013 21:20 - Niger - Niamey

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40989

You deserved it

13730

Tweet

Share

By Casuallydying - 28/4/2017 04:00

Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3892

You deserved it

559

Tweet

Share

By jabba - 5/10/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16635

You deserved it

34685

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/1/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35859

You deserved it

4016

Tweet

Share

By owmyhead - 11/4/2011 06:23 - South Africa

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30259

You deserved it

3129

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 07:19 - United States - Reno

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18228

You deserved it

28739

Tweet

Share

By nikkrissa_04 - 7/8/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58885

You deserved it

12072

Tweet

Share

By anonymous neighbor - 30/1/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26678

You deserved it

6562

Tweet

Share

By CastAway - 24/5/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48543

You deserved it

15029

Tweet

Share

By too cool - 1/7/2014 03:59 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44254

You deserved it

3333

Tweet

Share

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35467

You deserved it

6198

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/7/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50703

You deserved it

7836

Tweet

Share

By Bengemon825 - 20/6/2015 19:03 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24596

You deserved it

4128

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/5/2016 11:29 - United States - Westwood

Today, as I was getting x-rays of my arm, I heard one technician ask another, "Are you sure those are hers?" At 17, I have weaker bones than my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12869

You deserved it

1072

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/8/2010 23:25 - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30472

You deserved it

6627

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bogrbon | 20

#7939658 - Sunday 20 September 2020 23:40

I know someone who is going to get tattoo removal for a sweet 16 present...:

But seriously, you should get her tested for HIV and hepatitis and the like. A tattoo in some guy’s garage is super sketch.

By DonULFonso | 22

#7939616 - Sunday 20 September 2020 20:04

Classy...

COMMENTS

By DonULFonso | 22

#7939616 - Sunday 20 September 2020 20:04

Classy...

By RichardPencil | 28

#7939619 - Sunday 20 September 2020 20:10

If things don't work out with this Jace, she can always meet another Jace and he'll be happy that her vagina is labeled as his.

I've never seen the name Jace (I heard people named Jason being called that, but I never seen it spelled out).

Reply

raven_of_azarath | 32

#7939736 - Monday 21 September 2020 12:26

The love interest in The Mortal Instruments series is named Jace, but I had never seen it used in real life.

By Bogrbon | 20

#7939658 - Sunday 20 September 2020 23:40

I know someone who is going to get tattoo removal for a sweet 16 present...:

But seriously, you should get her tested for HIV and hepatitis and the like. A tattoo in some guy’s garage is super sketch.

By tabby cat tidbit | 6

#7939661 - Sunday 20 September 2020 23:58

so so sorry....
no words 💔

By LackyLacy | 5

#7939681 - Monday 21 September 2020 4:18

Get a fake matching one and show your support with great enthusiasm.

By my_way_1213 | 11

#7939690 - Monday 21 September 2020 6:37

luckily crappy tattoos are easier to cover up... when shes older...by a professional

By mccuish | 17

#7939700 - Monday 21 September 2020 8:12

She’s gonna regret that tattoo when she’s older

By samsonity | 5

#7939772 - Monday 21 September 2020 16:02

Get a belt sander to remove it. :)

By tounces7 | 27

#7939826 - Monday 21 September 2020 19:54

Trailer Park life....