Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
BobbieH 19
Subtlety mentioning she's bangable; that's professional. Haven't you ever heard you never dip your pen into company ink? Add to that it's your boss's wife?! Wow, way to hit every wrong note! YDI
aaalllliiiii 6
Only us Aussies would do that
linkinpark98 24
I'm pretty sure it happens almost everyday in America as well.
Heinousness 0
What is Ezio? ( OP's boss comes down from elevator) Boss- are you hitting on my wife? OP- NO!! receptionist- yes Boss- your fired( insert OP's name here)! OP-(to himself) Damn!
Awsumuzzie 12
Op was trying to bang her. He thought with his words, he'd make her purr. She sat and listened to his "subtle" try, but all she wanted to do was cry. She pointed out his loss, using only the words, "I'm married to your boss."
maddielonglegs 5
Bangable? Really?
swagger85318 4
Hey rings don't plug holes just keeps them open
BobbieH 19
Remember that when you are married and your wife tells you " it's only a ring, it keeps a hole open not closed so I filled it with some other guy!" I think you might want to change that perspective or it's going to bite you back.
sincerelyjay 13
And that's when you stop flirting, walk away, and act like you never had that conversation.
nenah04 0
Lmao
DocBastard 40
Just so I have this straight, you 1) flirted with a new receptionist 2) told her she was "bangable" 3) sexually harassed a married woman Yes, I have concluded that you're a ******* imbecile. I hope you get stuck in remedial sexual harassment seminars for the next year as punishment, fuckwad.
Heinousness 0
Exactly
fuqsam 5
Does he share?