By superfiedman - United States
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
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  beardo8  |  0

A condom (pronounced /ˈkɒndəm/ (US) or /ˈkɒndɒm/ (UK)) is a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs—such as gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV). It is put on a man's erect penis and physically blocks ejaculated semen from entering the body of a sexual partner. Because condoms are waterproof, elastic, and durable, they are also used in a variety of secondary applications. These include collection of semen for use in infertility treatment as well as non-sexual uses such as creating waterproof microphones[1] and protecting rifle barrels from clogging.[2]

In the modern age, condoms are most often made from latex, but some are made from other materials such as polyurethane, or lamb intestine. A female condom is also available, most often made of polyurethane. As a method of contraception, male condoms have the advantage of being inexpensive, easy to use, having few side effects, and of offering protection against sexually transmitted diseases.[3][4] With proper knowledge and application technique—and use at every act of intercourse—users of male condoms experience a 2% per-year pregnancy rate.[5]

Condoms have been used for at least 400 years.[6]:51,54-5 Since the nineteenth century, they have been one of the most popular methods of contraception in the world.[6]:173-4 While widely accepted in modern times, condoms have generated some controversy, primarily over what role they should play in sex education classes. Additionally, improper disposal of condoms contributes to litter problems,[7] and the Roman Catholic Church generally opposes condom use.[8]

  exit_arsenic  |  0

you are an idiot. if you feel like randomly copying sections of wikipedia or some other information site and posting it just to be a douche, at least choose RELEVANT information, like "cross-dressing" or "mrs. doubtfire."
considering that this is a MAN dressed up as a WOMAN alone in his house, i really don't think that "condom" fits the situation, do you?

  marleesharpie  |  0

I love Mrs. Doubtfire. :P

And I really don't get how this is an FML. There's nothing wrong with cross-dressing, and thinking YOUR life is fucked because you have a parent that does it shows you're incredibly closed-minded.

  sarah_berah  |  0

Its not so wrong per say as weird to find YOUR DAD in a dress...just unexspectedly. And since it does say "after a long night" and he came at noon, the OP probablywas not in the clearest state of mind anyway. It be weird to walk in on no matter your view on cross dressing.

  efwiz  |  0

I will go out on a limb here and say there IS something wrong with coming home one day to find out your 40?-something Dad is a secret crossdresser, no matter what the everything-is-okay-don't-judge-anyone crowd says.

  Rouge_Plague  |  0

That is relevant, you just gotta see how it is. Maybe they put the whole condom definition there as another way of saying, the parent's of the OP's dad should have used them.

  elara15  |  0

I always wonder what people expect to get from calling out FMLs.

In college, I went home with my roommate when her father wasn't expecting her and caught him dressed like a woman. He ran from the room and made us promise not to tell her mother. Considering the OP wrote that the "woman" whipped around, that sounds like being caught. That makes it seem legit, as opposed to the father kindly opening the door for his son.

  romaunts  |  0

Cross dressing doesn't make you gay, so why would it matter if he and the OP's mom were separated?

It's not a bad thing... but it /would/ be awkward and maybe a little disturbing catching your parent like that. I'm very open-minded, but it would be strange to see my dad in drag.

Though, I guess your life is far from fucked, OP. Heck, he has more of a reason to feel that way, since he got caught and you apparently think your life is fucked because of it.