Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML
Today, I was stuck in the ICU with my 10 month-old. They spent more than an hour and multiple pricks to get a vein for cannula. I had to endure and hold him down through all of it. Half and hour later, he promptly smeared poop all over his cannula bandage area during a diaper change. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
should of slathered him in pepto.
iheartkanye 8
Shit happens
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Comments (116)
radarie 6
I think parents have the tendency to get mad at their kids once they know they are ok in worrisome situations. But this could have been a lot more expensive than $25. You must have good insurance... And thank goodness your son ended up being alright.
pinknpurplez 10
That's kids for ya! Lol, like how they can be really, really poorly and lifeless, high temp etc but the min you get to docs they perk up!!x
ILoveEmoes 9
What did you expect him to do, OP? He was under pressure!
batman4eva3113 0
Apparently wen my bff was little she was constupated and her parents gave her prune juice. At dinner time she farted and poop shot out of her diaper at 90 degrees!!! Hahahaaa
kayylovesu 0
That sucks, hope ur baby feels better.?
tonykillzlemons 0
its your fault for taking him to hospital
skarlly 10
well just think of it as an invesment, you know you are going to be saying this story to its gf/bf when its a teen :) then we are going to read his/her FML.
Toshi124 0
and soon everyone will see a fml about having his hand crapped on by a baby that had 'constipation' xD
dfishfan 0
When a girl does it...it's way more expensive!...
Yarrachel 16
My parents once spent hours in the ER with my baby sister who wouldn't stop sobbing in pain for unknown reasons. As soon as they were called to see a doctor, she let out a huge belch, then smiled happily.