By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 087
You deserved it 3 510

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Martinez0285 28

At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

Comments

kristabelli 19

OMG this made me snort my coffee it's so funny. xD (Sorry OP.)

#19 so did you do it through a straw or somehow line it up on the table?

orbit 22

I prefer to use a rolled up $20 bill, makes me feel more important while I snort my coffee

Conspiracy theory: OP only created an FML to further cover up his fake-cough & fart routine.

kittykat1501 31

19 means snorted out coffee. I've spit my coffee out at something funny before

Martinez0285 28

At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

When I was very sick every time I coughed I would: vomit, shart, and pee

I once came down with food poisoning during hay fever season. I had to replace my entire underwear collection after that week!

mrwilsong 6

Mucinex , keeps farts in and mucus out.

octinate 17

Or work on your pelvic floor exercises

Wear a thong. It'll at make your farts silent, so you can blame them on someone else.

In what world is this possible? I'd gladly become a citizen of that universe

Yeah, I'm not going to try this out. And not because I'm a guy that doesn't want to wear a thong, but because this is ludicrous. If you have gas, you might be able to make it unnoticeable. If you have gas and a cough or anything that requires a sharp contractions of your diaphragm there's no controlling of how the gas exits. Maybe stuff a squeaky toy squeaker up your ass and say it's just your lungs wheezing LOL.

Thats sucks! Well at least ur not sharting...

Wow...Obviously you're trying to cover up the coughs with fake flatulence. FYL

I could picture Booger from revenge of the nerds saying "thank you Lord, my dreams came true!"