By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 052
You deserved it 3 497

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At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

Well that stinks


Yikes sorry op

OMG this made me snort my coffee it's so funny. xD (Sorry OP.)

#19 so did you do it through a straw or somehow line it up on the table?

I prefer to use a rolled up $20 bill, makes me feel more important while I snort my coffee

Conspiracy theory: OP only created an FML to further cover up his fake-cough & fart routine.

19 means snorted out coffee. I've spit my coffee out at something funny before

At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op

When I was very sick every time I coughed I would: vomit, shart, and pee

I once came down with food poisoning during hay fever season. I had to replace my entire underwear collection after that week!

Thats a bit of a stinky situation...

Please don't

Mucinex , keeps farts in and mucus out.

Or work on your pelvic floor exercises

... Clench more?

Wear a thong. It'll at make your farts silent, so you can blame them on someone else.

In what world is this possible? I'd gladly become a citizen of that universe

Yeah, I'm not going to try this out. And not because I'm a guy that doesn't want to wear a thong, but because this is ludicrous. If you have gas, you might be able to make it unnoticeable. If you have gas and a cough or anything that requires a sharp contractions of your diaphragm there's no controlling of how the gas exits. Maybe stuff a squeaky toy squeaker up your ass and say it's just your lungs wheezing LOL.

Thats sucks! Well at least ur not sharting...

Wow...Obviously you're trying to cover up the coughs with fake flatulence. FYL

I could picture Booger from revenge of the nerds saying "thank you Lord, my dreams came true!"