Health: Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal,...

By Agamar - 23/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Skokie

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 265

You deserved it 2 707

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

I'm so tired

By Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 118

By cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 700

You deserved it 5 548

One night

By Anonymous - 25/01/2020 01:00 - Sweden - ?ngelholm

Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 917

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 11 957

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 280

By Frouse - 04/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 2 670

By Blackshadows - 07/09/2015 18:08 - United States - Somerset

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 933

You deserved it 8 384

Cooked

By Anonymous - 21/04/2023 03:00

Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 865

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 5 899

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 14:33 - United States

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 284

You deserved it 16 328

ananicosia 28

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:17

Did you enjoy your bowl of disappointment for breakfast?

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:18

Most important meal of the day!

Comments

ananicosia 28

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:17

Did you enjoy your bowl of disappointment for breakfast?

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:18

Most important meal of the day!

Mathalamus 24

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:23

Well, that's impressive. Maybe do something besides make breakfast first thing. Or get more sleep. Or both.

The12thPaladin 8

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:53

Or OP could have insomnia and not be able to get a decent amount of sleep

oreoeater 21

Tuesday 23 February 2016 15:54

Or she was unable to get enough sleep due to her circumstances

Nieios 5

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:31

worst comes to worst, eat the packet. only the strong survive

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 23 February 2016 12:35

I bet you had a surprise when you actually tried to eat it.

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:03

its OK op you were oat of your mind !

HeadlessSparrow 20

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:04

I once opened a packet of sugar and sweetened my trash can instead of my tea.

meghanclean 17

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:16

As someone with an infant, I totally understand. I hope you get some sleep and good oatmeal soon!

lantz4levi 19

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:17

Try meth it will keep you wide awake.

bella_nana347 23

Tuesday 23 February 2016 14:10

Or cocaine

zaidthunder1 27

Tuesday 23 February 2016 16:24

LSD, anyone?

The_Potato_Lord 15

Tuesday 23 February 2016 13:46

Yum.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, I can no longer tolerate my mother-in-law. She's not a bad person, but anytime she opens her mouth it is only to criticize, chastise, scold, or blame me. My husband is too terrified of her to ask her to leave our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 143

Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 115

Today, my wife, in all seriousness, told me she believed I am autistic. With all due respect to autistic people out there, WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 247

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 59

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 2 465

Today, my parents are forcing me to take my brother with me when I hang out with my friends. This wouldn't be that weird if my brother wasn't 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 388