Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
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Top comments
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Kids have gotten so disrespectful.
Moota 9
Someone needs to have a little talk with daddy about name calling?
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Comments (247)
florido_fml 10
Just punch him in the face lol
starsfan_9 7
Felony...classic
absolutegrrr 7
child abuse 'lol'
gabrielbaby 9
Who the child or the father? Because what kind of a parent punches a young child in the face?
xtalondriver 14
You make a good case for mandatory sterilization.
boycrazy30007 12
Tan his ass and see if It happens again
iliketurdles 7
Tan? I think I speak for everyone when I say.. wait, whaa?
anm321456 0
They mean spank lol
White_Knightspc 0
It's time go home and kick daddy in the Nads... Avoid this whole situation again. A man needs to respect his wife.
iamyourgod 3
Who says she isn't a bitch? Maybe he's right?
thiscrazything 1
Doesn't matter if she is, the father is an ass for saying that in front of their son.
anm321456 0
I have to say even if OP was a bitch the kid's dad shouldn't say things like that in front of the kid, those arguments should remain between the parents.
cntryiscntrywide 0
I'd set the dark lord Ktulu on him:) * I think that how yu spell his name, anyone who watches south park will get it *
slapshot52 2
Cthulhu did not come from south park.
cntryiscntrywide 0
someone made a south park reference earlier and, that's how I know who he is.
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
35 - Exactly 23: What is this I don't even
ExhaustedLove 0
So do you know what your getting him for Christmas?
Sweet121 0
Wow. Nip that in the bud, and sit down with his father and explain how unacceptable that behavior is.
skinthesnakes 6
OP to kid: The pregnancy test was right, you were a mistake!
gabrielbaby 9
That's cruel, and not very funny. You never tell your child that. Ever. That's worse than saying bitch in front of him.
I'madumbass 19
Agreed. If I mess up, my parents will just tell me that I am a mistake, I am nothing, etc. This is only when I do stuff wrong, but it's been going on for years. I feel ya. Never tell your child that he or she is a mistake. Never do that. Ever.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Kids just say the most interesting things
futuredoc 5
Ouch...
jk4life 1
Ok not cool