Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
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Top comments
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Kids have gotten so disrespectful.
Moota 9
Someone needs to have a little talk with daddy about name calling?
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Comments (247)
puppyXluvz123 9
To people saying "talk to your husband" ect. If he is calling her that, they are probably divorced. Just saying
anm321456 0
Not necessarily...
Akers_L7 8
Nowadays a small smack to the face is called child abuse. Back when I was younger, getting hit by the the belt was called light punishment. The least you should is enforce corporal punishment, just don't over do it.
poopdayz 6
I know what you mean. If someone even sees you smack your kid in public you can get arrested. Even if it's a small smack on the rear.
Freeze_fml 17
Hopefully you bitchslapped the shit out of him.
Kiki242 19
I'm sixteen. If I ever talk to my mom like that, I would be on the back of a milk carton. It isn't the kids fault. It's the parents fault for not laying the smack down. However, fyl op. You need to talk to your husband.
MsCane 6
I hope you whipped his ass. And hubby needs a swift kick up his ass too. Smfh.
johng1970 2
don't be so sure... these days many guys are having sex with dogs, male and female!
pilotoenrique 0
Why would you even say something that twisted?
Lucyboo523 0
I woulda spanked tht lil shit.
poopdayz 6
Seems like time out time for daddy and his son lol.
georgie_sd 5
it looks like father and son have spent some quality time together lol
spazz506 0
Sounds like someone's sleeping on the couch