Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
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Top comments
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Kids have gotten so disrespectful.
Moota 9
Someone needs to have a little talk with daddy about name calling?
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Comments (247)
ILoveTabz 0
And who's fault is that?
hateevryone 15
you should've beat him right then & there.
angrynegro7 16
Beat both of them!
psycho_mp 0
obviously your kid wanted that toy maybe instead on being straight up and saying no you could have told him you have no extra money it works and kids being rude my ass its the parent not the kid get ur shit straight
white16sox 19
78 kids need to learn the meaning of no. When a parent says no, end of conversation. Can't allow a kid to grow up listening to excuses their whole life.
mizunwantedxx 0
I would of tore his ass up just for throwing the fit much less what he said. kids these days.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Well the father is part to blame for teaching his kid such language
cabanaboyjuan 6
i take it your not hispanic. because if you were hed be posting FML how you beat living shit out of him in middle of store for saying that.
superkamiguru 1
actually u can physically discipline your children. it jus cant b to the point where you are leavig bruises on them. so yes ppl you can spank your children
gabrielbaby 9
Not in public, nor at a school. It's illegal
NightForever 2
You can get arrested for smacking your kid in public. I saw a mother attempt to take a lunchbox away from her kid who was making a mess, the kid let go of the lunchbox and fell down, a social worker started SCREAMING that the mother pushed him down and threatened to arrest her. The kid had to say "No, I just fell, she didn't push me." It's ridiculous.
MsCane 6
And that Social Worker would have gotten her ass whipped. Where I come from, you mind your business when someone is disciplining their child.
bubo_fml 11
Old joke: "Daddy, what's a pussy?" Dad cracks open a Hustler & circles the genitals & says, "Everything inside the circle is a pussy." "Daddy, what's a bitch?" Dad says, "everything outside the circle!"
GhostlyGhoulish 1
I saw that joke on the Dirty Jokes App.
BaconBoy75 2
Ah, those crazy teens!