Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
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Top comments
allenalives 1
You CAN press charges you know...even in Canada, I'm sure
lilhellian 27
Atleast you didn't wake up with icyhot there after she kicked you.
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Comments (179)
daviddgaf 3
Her Name Ashley?! Dont Ask How I Know.
EpicSquishii 21
Oh. We weren't going to. Don't worry
sweetmama88 6
Your better off without her.
Rocky007 15
Hey, at least you know you are an accurate judge of character.
FireFlie07 20
You did the right thing
dan_in_wi 12
what, are you in ****** 3rd grade? Christ...
simoncat 11
Well played. Just in time for Christmas, you starred in your own version of THE NUTCRACKER. Ditch the bitch. Hang your stocking elsewhere.
ericcrash 13
oww my cucumber!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Sing a chorus of "Rudolph the Red Nut Reindeer"
drkrissy1331 12
Nice!
rocketiquette 20
Is she 8..?