Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
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Top comments
allenalives 1
You CAN press charges you know...even in Canada, I'm sure
lilhellian 27
Atleast you didn't wake up with icyhot there after she kicked you.
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Comments (179)
Valdrek 26
Please mate, for the love of god, do not give into her when she comes crawling back begging you to have her again whilst she promises she has learnt her lessons etc...in my experience, once an abuser=always an abuser, applies to both men and women alike
MoeT8979 8
You look like you get your ass kicked all the time
howdeedoo 22
She should play in The Nutcracker
perdix 31
Poor girl, she must have been nuts about you.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
At least you're broken up?
catkat1988 17
If you had been a girl, everyone would tell you to stay away from him and make sure to press charges. That piece of advice doesn't change just because the genders are reversed. See a doctor and have them document any physical injuries, and file a police report. Assault is not okay, regardless of style and gender, and needs to be fought through the proper channels.
johnny_derp 3
"If you had been a girl, everyone would tell you to stay away from him and make sure to press charges." that is what everyone is telling him. please, just stop clinging onto to the "if you were a woman" bandwagon. it's sad.
Shrike 24
104- Pretty rich given you were the one whining about similar stuff on a previous FML. Hypocrite or just a troll?
olpally 33
Hey op, what's the capital of Thailand? Bangkok! Lol, press charges against her. That's assault.
spazz666 18
I enjoy the fact that you made a joke and then made a serious comment separated by a "lol". No seriously, I actually giggled a little.
JaneDoe1024 6
good thing you got out of that one
Capt_Oblivious 10
Good thing you didn't get married or there could potentially be more than just nuptials ruptured.
DocBastard 40
Now you have a classic snack in your pants - Assaulted nuts.
simoncat 11
Horribly bad remark. LOVE IT!
Hiphuray4peas 27
now OP doesn't have to worry if he made the right decision