Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
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Top comments
allenalives 1
You CAN press charges you know...even in Canada, I'm sure
lilhellian 27
Atleast you didn't wake up with icyhot there after she kicked you.
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Comments (179)
ICastillo 25
Well one last kick to remember her. But you should have gave her an upper **** for the road.
lelo007 11
Man- Getting **** punched is no joke. One time I was playing soccer and got a hard knee to my lady bits... I never thought I would get off of the ground.
ICastillo 25
Yeah I think she deserves it though. A kick to the balls is very painful too. I've came very close to throwing up by getting kicked in the balls.
gracehi 33
Yeah, it's a myth that it doesn't hurt for a girl to get kicked in the crotch. We're not numb down there! It feels like getting kicked in the shin.
lelo007 11
I've said in a previous FML that I would NEVER think of kicking a man in the balls. Well that's a lie, I've thought about it a lot, but I wouldn't actually do it. That's just so barbaric.
spazz666 18
It feels like getting a foot shoved up your ******. Oh wait...
empath 20
..And then she was hit by a bus.. And that's how Regina George died. Then OP grabbed a bag of frozen peas and lived happily ever after.
Teyros 24
Well you're doing the right thing by breaking up with her. Too bad it cost you a little more pain. Feel better soon OP. *sends an icepack in the mail.*
Neligee 9
Lmfao ! Psychotic !
Cocoapelli 23
Nuts!!!
onorexveritas 24
Ow, that's gotta be harsh. She sure proved you right on being abusive.
pradip 26
Having a dominant partner keeps the relationship interesting, u should've enjoyed those loving abuses. Kicking you in the nuts shows she never wanted you to use them on anyone else. Different people express love in different ways.
Eelam_star 2
How the **** does kicking someone in their nuts shows affection? Let me kick you in nuts and see if you feel the same way
SoylentCandycorn 10
What if someone shows their love by puncturing the condom? Violently assaulting anyone they think is flirting with their spouse? Chopping up their loved one into little pieces and eating them in a stew whilst screeching that their beloved will live inside them forever?
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
You sound like you have experience, Soylent :P
hermitknut 22
126: That's because SoylentCandycorn is people. *shifty eyes*
writergirl23 19
Oh well at least she is dumped
emoshadow47 9
She sounds like she needs medication or somethink, yikes
Kalipczo 21
Well.. Good riddance.