Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allenalives 1
You CAN press charges you know...even in Canada, I'm sure
lilhellian 27
Atleast you didn't wake up with icyhot there after she kicked you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
Szaszaspasz 26
Point proven!
gatewayev700 10
Ouch
jlperry31 10
at least its ur last nut shot by her..... your balls will be happy... lol happy boy and his happy balls
rhiannon7 4
Oooooouuuuuucccccchhhhh!!!!! That just proves your point right there. Too bad she was'nt in your shoes... you could've sterilyzed her and then she wouldn't be able to abuse her kids too, if she's lucky enough to get into another relationship any time soon.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Good news is that'll be the last shot to the pills you take from her.
karen1991 15
So, you knew this and didn't think of to wear a cup????
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
Mark is that you??? Need me to kick her ass lol
Levvy 22
And if she hit him in the face, he should have seen it coming and worn a mask, right? And if she hit him in the chest he should have seen it coming and worn a padded vest. And so on.
Maria_Obligacia 14
Well, sorry about the pain - but congratulations on getting yourself rid of the b&tch. Nobody should put up with abuse. If she ever so much as approaches you - file for restraining order with no reservations.
jeff_757 5
A kick in the nuts is the one and only free pass for hitting a girl but it sounds like you missed your chance. Just be glad she is gone, and don't be a wimp and take her back later.