Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
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Top comments
PandaSmile 24
Buy a strap on and tell him you're ready to go next time he wants sex. Or dump him.
JaffaMC 13
He sounds like a pain in the ass, FYL
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Comments (100)
jtea 10
Tell him to bend over then.
dracolich 27
I wish I could thumb you up more than once! :'D
ericp96 10
I notice a lot of girls on here pick the asshole to be their significant other Why is that?
hank0311 10
Nice guys always finish last. Always. I have a buddy that will let chicks suck him off at the massage parlor his girl friend goes to. And when his girlfriend shows up with a gift certificate bought from him and they put two and two together........ He is now getting pussy from 2 chicks that are fighting for his attention and know about each other. Shit is insane if you ask me, and if that was me I would get my car blew the **** up or something. But it is a proven fact, want to keep a chick give her a bit of an attitude be a dick every now and then and throw down the daddy dick you you won't be able to keep them away. Like flies to honey. A chick wants to have a challenge in her life. If your the "yes baby" guy and cover her feet 3 hours after she is asleep guy...... That is all we will ever be. Just the " well he is really nice". As she is getting her box beat by the dick head in the back of your car. Food for thought
hank0311 10
Game town
Enzymatically 14
thats quite funny. .. thats dark humor for you. make sure he was joking if he wasn't then he is a dick
Enzymatically 14
butt love...
hank0311 10
Funny in my mind as I am only hearing it and not living it. If that was me and I put my feelings on the line only to receive a smart ass comment in return. The world is way to big to deal with ass holes and there are plenty of guys out there that have their shit together and know how to treat a lady. Don't stress it, he either is an ass hole that needs bounced or has trouble with his feelings and uses that as a cover to avoid talking about it. Either way you will have to deal with him being an ass or move on cap the feelings and hold them for someone that gives them in return. Remember that a relationship is supposed to be a team if he wants to play that shit then stuff a finger in his ass next time your getting down when he freaks out just tell him you where trying to speak louder then words lol
harmtouch16 11
Tell him love doesn't hurt and if he cared about you at all he wouldn't push something you're clearly not into.
deathtothepix 26
This could have easily been a joke unless it was the first time OP said it to her boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have jokes like this all the time. Doesn't mean when I tell him I love him he responds with a joke 24/7 but it's just a joke and it makes me laugh so why not?
bilbo_watson 7
True, and guys are different in this. They aren't super sensitive about stuff and girls tend to take them by surprise when they come out with something so sentimental. And... you know, guys joke about shit a lot to cover up other stuff. A guy who's been sexually assaulted is likely to make rape jokes. They'll joke about shit that makes them uncomfortable and insult each other to show appreciation. In general, they just communicate differently than women.
mojoe99 7
He's right though.
blacklung79 7
Just do it already
RtotheDTwo 9
Well that escalated quickly...