Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
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Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
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Top comments
PandaSmile 24
Buy a strap on and tell him you're ready to go next time he wants sex. Or dump him.
JaffaMC 13
He sounds like a pain in the ass, FYL
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Comments (100)
protoskore 27
True
Sweetjessierose 8
Sounds like my ex.. Run while you still can!!
shinikageWolf 15
Tell him if he puts it in your ass, you put the biggest, thickest strap on you can buy in his ass.
CoNaana 18
Peg him when he doesn't expect it..
demon_wolf 15
I'd have pulled out a strap on about the same size as him, winked and said, "I know. Lube up and bite the pillow."
wannabeex0 7
That's something I would have said to my husband ?
RJtuba 13
Dump the bastard.
mitoito68 6
jajajajaja sounds funny to me.
sexybeastxxx 9
don't do it. its not worth it. he'll get all the fun and you'll get all the pain. thats not how you prove love. its just an excuse for sex in the back door. you would willing to do anything for him and he'll used that up till he couldn't go more with you and he will then do it to another girl. did the same mistake he surly didn't deserve it.
Justagirl97 9
my boyfriend would say something like this, in fact he agreed as I read this to him.