Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
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Top comments
hotPinklipstick 24
I think it's time to rethink your relationship.
French_Toast_fml 3
He sounds like a whopper of a jerk.
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Comments (142)
sweetdreams20 0
It sounded like a joke
soccerdude79 0
Your boyfriend is my hero!
nofearjenshere 12
Egg McMuffins are from McDonald's... Hence the 'Mc'.
haydent_fml 3
You should have placed an order and said you were on your way to pick it up... that would have thrown him off!
roadie143 0
he is such a dumbass, all he could have done is, pretend he was asleep and not reply back..
bubo_fml 11
He would've pretended to be a Taco Bell employee, if only he could fake an Italian accent...
thischick1659 1
Hun, tacos are Mexican food. Not Italian..
zebralover23 14
Are you sure it was him though
pagullarka 9
You know what's so sad and sorry that after all this you still call him your boyfriend
drunkonduty247 1
You must be an interesting person
Matt504 9
He should have said he was THE Burger King
Adelaide_CF 6
#68: Haha, your comment really made me laugh :)