Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hotPinklipstick 24
I think it's time to rethink your relationship.
French_Toast_fml 3
He sounds like a whopper of a jerk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
ElricMustang 23
You can't assume he's lying. When you find out he actually did lose his phone, then you'd feel pretty awkward.
gonad_gobbler 1
what the hell valdrek, you troll all over another fml and get thumbed down, so now on this one you say something considerate in hopes to be liked by everyone, sorry to bitch all over the place but valdrek is a fake asshole
bfsd42 20
Seriously! If you're gonna let yourself get that angry because of a commenter, maybe you shouldn't be here. Take a chill pill and peace out.
singforever7464 0
How did you know it wasnt just a burger king employee who found your boyfriends phone?
Webslinger66 10
Hahahaha. I've done that before. Except it was a stripper.......
Albarufus 13
Douche!
coldashell 23
I work a burger king making flame broiled whoppers, I wear paper hat. Would you like an apple pie with dat? Would you like an apple pie with dat?
Teabubbles 8
what the **** are you trying to do?
tehdarkness 21
I would like and apple pie please
Marteeny23 19
He is text/singing the burger king song :)
jtrem12389 1
Lol, number of people who think you deserved it is 69.
Krirn 21
Not anymore. I don't get why people continue to post these comments when it won't stay that way.
alycion 39
If I don't want to talk to someone I just don't reply right away. Usually In an hour or so I'm in a more talkative mood. Though everyone in my life knows I go through quiet phases and doesn't take my non immediate responses personally.
alfred07 18
Asssuming that you know it was him my gut reaction is that he doesn't deserve you, if you do dump him a good way to get back at him would be to pretend to not know who he is and when he says he is your boyfriend be adamant that you are single.
fthku 13
That is the logical path to take, if you're in kindergarten. What is wrong with you, anyway?
alfred07 18
I wouldn't go as far as kindergarten level, high school maybe but not kindergarten. And yeah, on reflection it was a pretty stupid thing to say.
fthku 13
It's very amusing that you said that, because I actually wrote "Not even high school, kindergarten" before deciding to leave the comment as it is. OK, it's mildly amusing.
kimgr 9
Girl, I think the time between you two is now over.