Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML
What word was it?
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Bad influence
Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
Potterheads
Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
My words exactly
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
Kids these days…
Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Top comments
harmon1 0
**** their lives actually
thehelenlouiseee 5
f their lives ;) I went to school with a Harriet potter and that was kinda bad
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Comments (168)
Jerzyginger74 0
Lmao, it's not that bad. I went to school with a Richard Head. His parents must have hated him.
CharlieAndChapli 0
Dick Head....?
Tomatobee 4
hahahaha. terrible name.. poor guy.
RedPillSucks 33
He had a sister named Shiyla Tanya Head. Her nick name wash Shi, and she hated her middle name and would only use the initials. Shi T. Head.
authorkid 2
your life is sooo ******
denvan 0
At least it wasn't dumb and dumber
denvan 0
At least it wasn't dumb and dumber
crobcrob 1
LMAO
_IDEK_9 3
how is this an fml ?
DrPhilly 0
why isn't this on MLIA instead of here?
mistibrown0408 0
How does that affect Your life?
G_thelegend 0
AHAHA I WOULD SO NAME MY KIDS THAT :) HARRY POTTER FOREVER
Britney_0 0
it has nothing to do with you, but it's funny lol poor them. Their parents must be Harry Potter's biggest fans.