By Anonymous - 28/5/2019 02:25 The Dilbert Principle Today, I had to attend an interview in order to keep my job, despite exceeding all of my targets for over a year. My supervisor has not reached a single target at all in the same time, yet his job is safe and not under review. FML I agree, your life sucks 1549 You deserved it 88 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bagadigi - 27/10/2016 14:18 - Canada - Nepean Today, I was sitting in my old rusty truck in an empty parking lot, when some old lady parks beside me and opens her door, hitting my truck. Having a used up truck, I didn't mind. But you could tell that it made her mad, when she came back with the manager demanding that I pay for her paint job. FML I agree, your life sucks 11720 You deserved it 607 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rawf - 18/7/2009 05:45 - United States Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 43053 You deserved it 9922 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada I don't understand! Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 4520 You deserved it 565 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dannij08 - 27/1/2009 16:47 - United States Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML I agree, your life sucks 9269 You deserved it 49124 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - 26/10/2008 21:20 - United States Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 34083 You deserved it 4433 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By *sigh* - 8/12/2015 22:56 - United Kingdom Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 23548 You deserved it 2173 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/3/2011 01:15 - United States Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML I agree, your life sucks 37666 You deserved it 7834 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beleria - 23/4/2012 22:41 - United States Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 27140 You deserved it 2871 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frankie034 - 6/5/2009 07:40 - Australia Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure my bust to check what size I am in American. I got my measurement, checked what size it would be and the size of my bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML I agree, your life sucks 52547 You deserved it 9100 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meg265 - 24/10/2009 16:11 - United States Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML I agree, your life sucks 45966 You deserved it 9097 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lolzords - 14/9/2010 10:44 - United Kingdom Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML I agree, your life sucks 29657 You deserved it 2725 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML I agree, your life sucks 31194 You deserved it 4873 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - 19/10/2016 12:09 - United States - Oxford Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't have to sit on campus so long to print it all out. It just got delivered in Arizona today. I live in New York. FML I agree, your life sucks 12289 You deserved it 1236 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sprainedankle - 17/5/2013 20:49 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML I agree, your life sucks 46529 You deserved it 15685 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Missy - 2/2/2011 18:16 - United States Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML I agree, your life sucks 42025 You deserved it 17070 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pelota - 1/7/2009 21:46 - United States Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML I agree, your life sucks 52347 You deserved it 5133 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatetheholidays - 23/12/2018 20:00 Today my boss informed us that there were no more single shifts we were all working doubles until further notice. Also there’s a way for us to “earn” a half day but we have to out sell everyone else in the office to get it. So being new I haven’t had time off in two weeks... FML I agree, your life sucks 2371 You deserved it 167 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/6/2010 23:06 - United States Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 27335 You deserved it 39124 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By B - 4/2/2012 01:17 - United States Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML I agree, your life sucks 38296 You deserved it 3388 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/3/2016 05:51 - United States - Cortlandt Manor Today, I brought my best painting yet to college. I showed it off and everyone loved it. Or almost everyone. When we came back from lunch break, we found someone had sharpied the words "JIZZ BUTT" all over it. That painting took two weeks to finish. FML I agree, your life sucks 23391 You deserved it 1964 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 29/4/2019 14:00 Today, after the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office and since he became buddy buddy with management, they believed him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1092 You deserved it 1807 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch! - 22/8/2020 08:02 Innocent Today, I was playfully chasing my daughter along the waterline at the beach when the biggest, buffest, lifeguard I’d ever seen full-on NFL-style tackled me. Apparently I "looked like a creep" chasing a young girl. My ribs hurt like the devil and my daughter won’t stop crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 1899 You deserved it 99 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tennisplayer - 10/2/2009 05:59 - United States Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML I agree, your life sucks 12129 You deserved it 44055 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/6/2009 05:07 - United States Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 43661 You deserved it 12490 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:37 - United States Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML I agree, your life sucks 37170 You deserved it 3596 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/2/2010 14:21 - United States Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML I agree, your life sucks 40115 You deserved it 6742 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cmondude - 18/9/2018 15:30 Today, I was finally cast in my high school play. As Violet. The gum chewer who turns into a blueberry. Does my instructor not know I'm a guy? FML I agree, your life sucks 2456 You deserved it 311 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joy - 16/6/2010 14:42 - Denmark Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML I agree, your life sucks 35946 You deserved it 19149 571 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Booooolette - 22/6/2016 04:27 - France - Beauvais Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML I agree, your life sucks 11872 You deserved it 1260 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sorry... - 2/3/2015 16:31 - United States - Newark Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 32269 You deserved it 7525 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ishouldntdrink - 10/1/2010 15:11 - United States Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML I agree, your life sucks 7882 You deserved it 39080 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/3/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML I agree, your life sucks 43561 You deserved it 3379 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShittyKeys - 6/11/2009 08:57 - United States Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML I agree, your life sucks 30324 You deserved it 5409 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alexander - 8/2/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML I agree, your life sucks 7595 You deserved it 973 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By musicthief - 22/10/2012 22:51 - United States - Finleyville Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML I agree, your life sucks 24127 You deserved it 1872 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By *facefloor* - 24/7/2012 20:08 - United States Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25935 You deserved it 5369 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/7/2017 00:30 Today, after 26 years of confusion with my parents pronouncing it different ways, and in my mom's case, multiple ways, having to clear up how it's spelled every time I meet someone, I asked my mom how to pronounce my name. She got mad and then pronounced it three different ways while explaining. FML I agree, your life sucks 5386 You deserved it 416 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PizzaBoySwag - 4/6/2011 09:36 - United States Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML I agree, your life sucks 13269 You deserved it 125479 295 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 10:57 - United States - Pharr Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 49168 You deserved it 4731 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Butch - 4/7/2016 17:19 - United States - Mcdonough Today, our e-mail server went down. When I called IT to find out what the status was, they told me they e-mailed everyone with an update. FML I agree, your life sucks 13179 You deserved it 1124 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RichardPencil | 28 #7806704 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 2:40 It’s good to be the boss! If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining. Send a private message 2 8 Reply
By RichardPencil | 28 #7806704 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 2:40 It’s good to be the boss! If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining. Send a private message 2 8 Reply
Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar... I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 233 10 Comments
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic... I agree, your life sucks 1036 You deserved it 106 9 Comments
If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining.