By Anonymous The Dilbert Principle Today, I had to attend an interview in order to keep my job, despite exceeding all of my targets for over a year. My supervisor has not reached a single target at all in the same time, yet his job is safe and not under review. FML I agree, your life sucks 1581 You deserved it 89 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fashionVictim - United States Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 44560 You deserved it 12950 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Prodigy - United States Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML I agree, your life sucks 31163 You deserved it 7893 239 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 14/11/2020 06:57 - United States - Irving Entitled Today, where I work at a pharmacy, we were short staffed and running 4 hours behind. A lady came to drop off a new prescription. When I explained to her the wait time, she called the patient. I heard ,"No, they don't look busy." Like, really? FML I agree, your life sucks 759 You deserved it 62 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Happy Birthday Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 3488 You deserved it 230 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML I agree, your life sucks 14395 You deserved it 37055 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannaholic - United States Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML I agree, your life sucks 60398 You deserved it 4896 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazycora - Belgium Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 42194 You deserved it 3509 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Romania - Bucharest Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML I agree, your life sucks 5400 You deserved it 639 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44455 You deserved it 8172 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 987564 - Korea Republic of Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML I agree, your life sucks 44568 You deserved it 11369 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thissinglelife - United States - Alhambra Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 50199 You deserved it 3109 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesuschrist They'll go at night Today, my daughter asked me why NASA hasn't gone to the sun yet. She's seventeen. FML I agree, your life sucks 1589 You deserved it 417 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML I agree, your life sucks 46564 You deserved it 2716 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonynommer - United States - Holyoke Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML I agree, your life sucks 44257 You deserved it 3348 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML I agree, your life sucks 42911 You deserved it 23930 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idiocracy - United States Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML I agree, your life sucks 63357 You deserved it 3406 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML I agree, your life sucks 14496 You deserved it 26275 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By don't get paid enough for this - United States - Youngstown Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML I agree, your life sucks 29303 You deserved it 2170 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eleanor - United Kingdom - Leeds Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML I agree, your life sucks 6754 You deserved it 597 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dukemisery - Hong Kong - Central District Today, after being trapped in an elevator for 4 hours, I really had to pee. Just when I decided to pee in the elevator shaft, the lift doors opened. FML I agree, your life sucks 7920 You deserved it 1118 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoHappyEndings - United States - Dundalk Hello ? Today, it's been four weeks since I got a job offer after months of grueling interviews. I turned down other offers to accept the job, but I'm still unemployed because no one at the company will take my calls about my official start date. I've been ghosted by a corporate office. FML I agree, your life sucks 3651 You deserved it 348 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By quackers - United States - Columbus Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML I agree, your life sucks 13762 You deserved it 1188 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I gave my name for a lunch order, I even spelled it out for the cashier. When my food was ready, they screamed "Labia," in the restaurant full of people. My name is Nadia. FML I agree, your life sucks 1748 You deserved it 137 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By captainkevineff - United States Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 25861 You deserved it 3612 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 2109 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CyberHex305 Today, I went to Men's Warehouse to pick up my tux. They mistakenly set the pick-up date for the 30th of next month. My prom is tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 5011 You deserved it 470 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went to my parents house to secretly collect all of their home videos and convert them to DVDs as a Christmas gift. Among them I found a sex tape my parents had made. FML I agree, your life sucks 9625 You deserved it 3565 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bellevue Today, an old guy with a cane got up in my face for "mocking" the way he walked. In retrospect, I guess it is pretty offensive for me to have had knee surgery and still be recovering from it. My apologies. FML I agree, your life sucks 23375 You deserved it 1410 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia Being nice is so 1968 Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML I agree, your life sucks 5220 You deserved it 531 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Our anniversary Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2358 You deserved it 477 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PiZzA_FaCe - United States Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML I agree, your life sucks 52224 You deserved it 5236 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SofiMarti - Argentina - Buenos Aires Today, my mom was named principal of the school I go to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1662 You deserved it 211 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML I agree, your life sucks 12186 You deserved it 36852 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML I agree, your life sucks 35434 You deserved it 5090 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lee - Netherlands Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML I agree, your life sucks 35162 You deserved it 3293 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iGreen - Canada Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML I agree, your life sucks 35449 You deserved it 3599 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 50917 You deserved it 4514 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - United Kingdom Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. 20 minutes into the job, I was told 'Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go.' Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32290 You deserved it 2383 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rb - United States Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML I agree, your life sucks 35664 You deserved it 3568 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TabbyCat87 Cursed lake Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML I agree, your life sucks 1492 You deserved it 125 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RichardPencil | 30 #7806704 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 2:40 It’s good to be the boss! If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining. Send a private message 2 8 Reply
By RichardPencil | 30 #7806704 - Tuesday 28 May 2019 2:40 It’s good to be the boss! If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining. Send a private message 2 8 Reply
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML I agree, your life sucks 62 You deserved it 37 2 Comments
Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because... I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 27 3 Comments
If you don’t like double-standards, become a boss or quit whining.