By xoxoblondee - United States - Valley Village Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML I agree, your life sucks 5196 You deserved it 1140 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crabby - United Kingdom - Clitheroe Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML I agree, your life sucks 3367 You deserved it 6153 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cyberella - Australia Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML I agree, your life sucks 44122 You deserved it 9608 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - East Carondelet Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML I agree, your life sucks 28368 You deserved it 2098 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By abc123 - United States - Marysville Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML I agree, your life sucks 48430 You deserved it 6873 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hi-Tech - Europe Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML I agree, your life sucks 36335 You deserved it 2730 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By franzbiel - Switzerland Randy Daddy Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML I agree, your life sucks 26803 You deserved it 2526 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By baldintheback - United States Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML I agree, your life sucks 51534 You deserved it 14316 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grinch Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML I agree, your life sucks 7282 You deserved it 699 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sandwhiched - United States - Los Angeles Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 30560 You deserved it 4749 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Briscuit - Canada - Pitt Meadows Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML I agree, your life sucks 41003 You deserved it 2645 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML I agree, your life sucks 58654 You deserved it 2997 296 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yomamma787 - United States Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML I agree, your life sucks 14827 You deserved it 54285 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatelife - Canada Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17208 You deserved it 28382 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 20741 You deserved it 83099 240 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bethany - Australia Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML I agree, your life sucks 41485 You deserved it 3554 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By birdisnottheword - Canada - Edmonton Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML I agree, your life sucks 29851 You deserved it 8825 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanksalot - United States Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 50771 You deserved it 4451 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tiana Scott Today, I left the door open while I went to the bathroom and my 11-month-old crawled in and then took off with my toilet paper. FML I agree, your life sucks 2265 You deserved it 808 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rusty Armstrong - 17/8/2020 05:01 Thanks capitalism, I hate it! Today, the prison program I work for has been shut down for months due to Covid, but my bosses have been having us sitting at our desks, doing nothing, in proximity to the inmates. I guess they'd rather pay us to be exposed than to stay safe. FML I agree, your life sucks 1112 You deserved it 140 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dr. Virgin - United States Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML I agree, your life sucks 78877 You deserved it 6487 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imeanreallytho - United States Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 21898 You deserved it 8806 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shastadoe - United States - Los Banos Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML I agree, your life sucks 31472 You deserved it 5830 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Austin Franklin - United States Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML I agree, your life sucks 9861 You deserved it 47200 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ZPyRoGoDz - United States Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 48271 You deserved it 3132 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadsadteacher - United States - Los Angeles Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 9373 You deserved it 659 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badDriver - United States Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML I agree, your life sucks 26629 You deserved it 14556 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Canada Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 53592 You deserved it 12877 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nonymous human subject - United States - Palo Alto Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML I agree, your life sucks 23463 You deserved it 7806 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stelssy - United States Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 32168 You deserved it 12907 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML I agree, your life sucks 49135 You deserved it 3671 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 30579 You deserved it 3037 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Davios - United States Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 36027 You deserved it 2338 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nu_ravers_101 - United States Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML I agree, your life sucks 40231 You deserved it 4043 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By customerservicesucks - Canada Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her T.V. repaired. FML I agree, your life sucks 34901 You deserved it 2999 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatetheholidays Today my boss informed us that there were no more single shifts we were all working doubles until further notice. Also there’s a way for us to “earn” a half day but we have to out sell everyone else in the office to get it. So being new I haven’t had time off in two weeks... FML I agree, your life sucks 2384 You deserved it 170 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Brighton Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML I agree, your life sucks 31906 You deserved it 5542 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By m - United States - South Whitley Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 38110 You deserved it 1991 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sincerely depressed. - United States - Fremont Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML I agree, your life sucks 7810 You deserved it 40282 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CrazzY88s - Ireland Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML I agree, your life sucks 15933 You deserved it 34071 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuckface? I wish - Australia - Diamond Beach Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 60835 You deserved it 5457 346 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tripartita | 44 #7416359 - Saturday 25 February 2017 16:42 It's constipation; you'd be learning the hard way no matter what, OP. Send a private message 53 2 Reply
By tygerarmy | 35 #7416344 - Saturday 25 February 2017 16:18 It always leads to a shitty night. Send a private message 22 7 Reply
By tygerarmy | 35 #7416344 - Saturday 25 February 2017 16:18 It always leads to a shitty night. Send a private message 22 7 Reply
By Tripartita | 44 #7416359 - Saturday 25 February 2017 16:42 It's constipation; you'd be learning the hard way no matter what, OP. Send a private message 53 2 Reply
By adame2kill4 | 3 #7416382 - Saturday 25 February 2017 17:45 I'm sure you had a hard night, but its passed now.... ? I'll see myself out Send a private message 6 3 Reply
By species4872 | 19 #7416398 - Saturday 25 February 2017 18:20 There's just no answer for that. 1 2 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #7416465 - Saturday 25 February 2017 20:38 Bedcrapping: Infinitely more humiliating than bed wetting. Send a private message 5 4 Reply
By PennyLane27 | 32 #7416473 - Saturday 25 February 2017 21:02 On one hand, curious about the full story. On the other hand, if I was OP, I'd kick back with some popcorn and let people's imaginations run wild with this one. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By jediemma | 9 #7416497 - Saturday 25 February 2017 22:10 Happens to the best of us. Don't worry about it. Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By mcruff | 12 #7416515 - Saturday 25 February 2017 22:47 To quote Hamilton "oh shit" Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By Allayyyyy194 | 6 #7416813 - Sunday 26 February 2017 17:27 Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment Sound like it's possible a woman who put it in the wrong hole... Send a private message 2 2 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 572 You deserved it 170 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 975 You deserved it 157 11 Comments